Mother of Seven + 2

I am going to be brutally honest here about Mother's Day. I don't like it much. Every year I have hopes and expectations.  They get crushed within moments of getting out of bed.   As usual I was the first one up this past Sunday morning.  I showered early so there was plenty of time to get everyone up and ready for church.  As I came downstairs I noticed the breakfast table wasn't set.  At our house this is a regular chore.  It is to be done at bedtime each night by one of the children.  Mother's Day.  It was forgotten.  Not done. My mind started its fuming.  I have to admit I had a temper tantrum.  I decided right then and there I would get myself ready, and we would see how everyone else managed on their own. 7:15 rolled around.  One child showed up.  I asked, "You up to make some breakfast?"  My hopes were squashed as she headed to the shower. 7:45.  Children rolled out of bed.  They wanted to...

I have found myself prone to tears at any given moment for the past few days.  Life is changing once again.  We helped Kayt move into her college dorm room this past Thursday.  It seems ironic that I can be happy for and proud of my daughter and sad all at the same time. Perhaps this time has been a little more challenging then when Ryan left two years ago.  Kayt is having a harder time.  She is homesick and trying hard to be brave and strong.  That makes it harder for me.  The momma in me wants to fix it all right now.  However, being homesick is something each person has to work through at some point.  I remember the feeling.  It takes time. I am thankful I have been given the privilege of having a daughter whom I miss desperately.  God gave me a wonderful gift.  She has been a rock in our lives.  She is steady and loves God deeply.  I'm wondering what God has planned for her.  I'm excited about what she wi...

There is never a dull moment in our home with children who often learn by doing.  Many times I am thankful that they have lived to tell about it.  Here are just a few of the lessons that have been learned at our house by our children and, well, I guess, I'll admit a couple of the lessons were learned by my husband and I.  Don't leave the sprinkler running and forget about it!  Your children might change colors. 1.  When mom says, "Don't put your finger in the steam coming out of the vent hole in the canner," it might be a good idea to listen. 2.  The trash can setting outside filled with bleach water does not make good drinking water. 3.  When you get gasoline on your hand while filling the mower, take time to get a rag rather then licking it off. 4.  The different colors of flakes in the fish food have different flavors. 5.  When you are ten feet up in a tree and can't get down, dropping out is not a good option. 6.  U...

It was one of those nights.  After collapsing in bed exhausted, I woke up at 1:30 a.m. unable to go back to sleep.  My brain woke up, and it wouldn't shut off. I lay in the dark staring at the ceiling.  Tears slipped quietly down my cheeks as I tried not to disturb my husband.  My brain struggled to rationalize, my heart hurt, and my stomach was twisted tight. In moments like these I often think God put the Psalms in the Bible just for me.  I can relate to so many of David's cries to the Lord.  There are times when I feel alone.  I feel like I am surrounded by the enemy, and I wonder where God is.  (I know...probably not the words you would expect from a minister's wife.  But I am human.) The dark of the night is when soul searching prayers are cried out.  It's just me and the Lord.  Last night after an hour or so, I knew I desperately needed sleep.  I asked the Lord to please just let me have peace in knowing everything ...

One night as Little Girl was getting undressed for her bath she spotted the bathroom scales.  She got on them and then excitedly said, "Momma, come see how much I cost." At breakfast one of our boys wasn't feeling the best.  I was asking him about his symptoms.  Finally, I said, "Maybe you have a little bug or something."  Little Girl pipes up and says, "Or maybe a cricket." Baby Boy is always relieved when I lay him in his bed for his nap.  Often he immediately snuggles with his blanket and closes his eyes.  One afternoon he did this, and as he relaxed he suddenly tooted quite loudly.  His eyes popped open and he said, "Uh-Oh!" My husband is finding Bible class in the morning more challenging these days.  It is hard to keep everyone's attention when Baby Boy is being entertaining.  My husband turned to him sitting there one morning and said, "You are being a distraction."  Baby Boy immediately covered his face with both h...

I look at the pictures. Maybe I shouldn't. My heart strings are pulled Sweet faces, Longing eyes, Unknown futures. Everyone needs a place called home, unconditional love, safety and security, warm arms around them, God's grace. Face after face haunt me. Statistics dance before me. 104,200 children in foster care Needing adopted. Needing a home. Will they see God? Know God? Feel God through another's touch? Or will they reject him because no one cared? No one was His hands and feet? Photo from freedigitalphotos.net  Looking is like shopping. We can't resist forever. God's tug is greater still. We must follow. He works in us And through us. This time... We are not naive. We are not blind. We know the joys. We know the pain. We know the struggles. Yet we move on... Prodded by our children Whose tender hearts Begged us to once again Open our hearts, Open our home. Yo...

Teens--You gotta love them! They long for independence. They want to make their own decisions.   They don't want to be told what to do. I find it difficult to transition to giving more freedom. I want to protect them from poor choices. And honestly I have a hard time giving up control. Here's a peek into life at our house these days: " Mom, can I buy ______________ ? " One part of me is thinking, "We've taught you about saving, spending, and giving.  I know the money is not making it into it's allotted categories.  We've asked you to write down "wants" in a book and think about them for a month first.  That didn't happen.  No, of course, you can't buy ________________!" Then my other side argues, "They are teens now.  They need to make mistakes and learn from them.  Just let them spend the money.  It's their money.  They earned it.  And hey, the good part is they won't have enough mo...

We try to teach our children to apply the Bible to their lives.  Ryan decided to help Kaytlin with this task when they were ages seven and five.   Like a typical child or even adult, he was better at applying it to someone else's life. One day Kayt was doing her usual chore of picking up downstairs so Ryan could run the vacuum.  She was overwhelmed by all the toys.  With her own dramatic flair she said, "Mom, look at all these toys.  Just look at them.  I can't pick them all up.  Look, mom, just look!"  She carried on like this for several minutes. Finally having enough of his sister's drama Ryan stated, "Kayt, if your eye causes you to sin, poke it out."  Guess he thought looking at all those toys was causing her to sin.

Guess I'm feeling a little nostalgic today.  Thinking back there are many memories from when the children were little that I want to never forget.  I've written many of them down over the years, so I thought I might share a few with you over the next couple weeks.  The years slip by and our little ones grow up.  Those baby to preschool years are busy, but they are filled with delightful antics that brighten our days.  Here is a classic story from Ryan, our oldest.  He is now in college, but this is his interpretation of The Good Samaritan at the tender age of four. As we were walking one summer day, Ryan and I passed by a very flat squirrel lying in the road. Having a tender heart Ryan asked, "Is someone going to help that squirrel?" I explained to him that the squirrel was beyond help and we passed on by. On our way back home we once again passed the squirrel.  Ryan said, "Mommy, nobody has helped that squirrel." "That's be...

This year I struggled a bit with wanting to start the school year.  Last year the whining and complaining, huffing and puffing, rolling the eyes and slamming into the chair stuff really was wearing me thin by the end of the year.  I was not anxious to start again.  I wanted to enjoy my children, but this attitude junk definitely did not spell out enjoyment.  It stressed me and made me anxious to just let them loose so I could get away from them. I worked and worked at not letting these attitudes occur.  There was discipline.  There were gentle reminders and sometimes not so gentle reminders.  There was practice of a proper response after an inappropriate response.  There were Scriptures memorized.   Despite my efforts it felt like I was banging my head against the wall.  Children can unwillingly conform on the outside, but the attitude still dwells on the inside.  It continues to seep out, but many times it just spills out al...

It was a lazy Saturday morning.  No one rolled out of bed much before 8:00 a.m.  It was nearly 9:00 by the time I called the troops to breakfast.  They came thumping down the stairs with everyone talking at once.  As we were taking our seats around the breakfast table, Troy looked up at his dad and noticed a problem. "Um, dad, you have something white on your face." "No, I don't.  I just looked in the mirror and there was nothing there." Troy reaches towards his dad's face to show him.  Dad pulls his head back.  "Back off.  There's nothing on my face.  You're just pulling my leg."   By this time the chatter has died down and everyone is looking at Dad.  Kayt chimes in, "Seriously, dad, there is something on your forehead." The agitated response fired back, "Now guys, I just took a shower.  I get clean in the shower unlike some of you.  I looked in the mirror.  And I know there is nothing on my face." A...

Photo from www.freedigitalphotos.net It's one of those days... Don't know what to do, Can't say the right thing, Manage to make matters worse, Kind of day. Sitting here, Trying to relax, Taking a deep breath, Letting the quiet calm my spirit. Looking up, Seeking help, Praying for guidance, Longing for answers. Raising children is hard, Challenging, Difficult, Frustrating. (written at 2 p.m.) God redeems the day... He prompts me to listen, Helps me to understand, Gives me the words, Guides my actions. Heart to heart talks, Tears, Hugs, Prayers together. My spirit feels at peace; Calm is restored. I'm resting tonight; Thankful God can take the bad and use it for good. At the close of one of those days. (written at 8 p.m.)

Ok, so I was doing good.  Then last night I talked to Ryan on Skype.   I cried and cried afterwards.  What a basket case!  He was fine and all.  I just fell apart. I'm doing good again today.  But I have to say this has been one of the most difficult things for me to do as a parent.  This letting go thing is hard.  As one friend said, "It felt like one of my legs had been chopped off when I left my son at college."  Somehow our children become extensions of us.  There is a saying that says, "When one chooses to become a mother, she chooses to have her heart walk around outside her body."  So true.  And my heart is away from me. I will cry from time to time.  That's a fact.   I have to remind myself that when he was born, the Lord entrusted me with a precious boy to raise for His glory and honor.  He never truly was mine.  He belongs to God.  God will take care of him.      So...

Yes, it happened.  Our oldest son left for college last Thursday. But I did good.  Only teared up once.  That bear hug he gave me kinda did me in.  Gathered myself back together quickly though. Now each day, I notice all the little things.  The shirt that came through the wash that was left behind.  The empty chair at the table.  The absent sound of his footsteps on the stairs.     I miss... his smile his goodnight hug and kiss on the cheek him helping me cook supper on Saturday evenings his conversations. But I'm rejoicing... that he's happy I'm thankful... for all the possibilities I'm excited ... about what God will do in his life. And I'm so grateful... that God blessed us with him for 18 years. He's venturing out... He's leaving home... But he's only just beginning his journey. (From the heart of a mom who's learning to let go and praying for her boy each day.)

We are getting ready to start back into our school routine in another week.  That means this next week will be full of planning and organizing.  I enjoy the start of a new school year.  It's invigorating to begin with a fresh start.  School books waiting for me to sort through. Also this week our oldest will be taking off for college.  This will be a new experience for our family.  I loved my college years, so I'm excited for him.  But it is also bittersweet.  How quickly these years have passed. Ryan has begun packing. I have one last batch of canning to finish up this week.  My father-in-law blessed us with apples from his tree. We've been enjoying applesauce, apple butter, apple pie, and apple crisp. Apples waiting to be done. Planning to make more apple butter. Then there is one of the things I love doing most--having friends over to share in a meal. Planning to have several over this week.  One night I'm...