I have found myself prone to tears at any given moment for the past few days. Life is changing once again. We helped Kayt move into her college dorm room this past Thursday. It seems ironic that I can be happy for and proud of my daughter and sad all at the same time.
Perhaps this time has been a little more challenging then when Ryan left two years ago. Kayt is having a harder time. She is homesick and trying hard to be brave and strong. That makes it harder for me. The momma in me wants to fix it all right now. However, being homesick is something each person has to work through at some point. I remember the feeling. It takes time.
I am thankful I have been given the privilege of having a daughter whom I miss desperately. God gave me a wonderful gift. She has been a rock in our lives. She is steady and loves God deeply. I'm wondering what God has planned for her. I'm excited about what she will do for him with her life.
My head acknowledges the blessings. My heart misses the way things were. My head knows it will get better. My heart knows things will never be quite the same. My head knows there are exciting times ahead. My heart misses the day in and day out presence. My head knows it will be super exciting to have that first visit home and celebrate all the new firsts in Kayt's life.
We are going through one of life's transitions. One mother and friend I
talked to on Thursday was leaving her daughter at college and heading
back to Taiwan where her and her husband are missionaries. I realized I
should be thankful my daughter is only two hours away. Then I cried
buckets on the ride home. I thought, "I am such a wimp." Then I read a
post from another friend on Facebook. She had moved her daughter into the same college dorm that day. She was
experiencing bouts of tears like I was. She lived right there in
town and was only minutes away. 15 minutes, 2 hours, half way around
the world, the distance doesn't matter a whole lot. It is a change in
life, and one we will all adjust to.
So while my head and heart battle this all out, know that I might cry at unexpected moments. If I do, give me a moment to get my emotions pulled back together. I'll be ok. I probably won't want to talk about it right then for fear of falling apart completely. I'll take hugs though. And when I do get it together, I will probably tell you all about Kayt and how she's doing. I might talk your leg off. I am proud of that girl.