Mother of Seven + 2

The depressed mind...it struggles with these verses.  "Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again:  Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:4-7 Rejoice always???  Do not be anxious!  Thanksgiving?  Peace??? "Joy" and "anxiety free" living are counter to everything I felt during my deep struggle with depression.  I still have days and weeks that are hard.  There are times I want to scream and say these verses unrealistic. Praise God for his wisdom over mine though.  It has ended up being these verses that have helped me the most when I struggle with the darkness.  Although my feelings tell me differently, I choose t...

"Your Mom is not the same person she was," I overheard my husband explain to one of our boys. Our son wistfully replies, "I hope she gets better soon." My tears flowed.  I was not sure I would ever be better.  How does a broken heart heal?  How is one ever the same after they are broken? Each day I rose early.  In the stillness of the morning, I sought strength from above.  I never wanted to leave the quiet.  I wanted to stay here reading His Word and praying.  But...children awoke, meals needed fixed, laundry begged washing, and somehow I walked through each day.  However, I lived angry inside...angry that my solitude had been disturbed. The reality of my life was depression.  A depression that would not loosen its grip. It took me a long time to acknowledge it though. Over a year before my medical doctor had suggested to me that I take an anti-depressant.  I had gone in for unexplained aching and fatigue in my body. ...