Saturday, December 2, 2023

Oh Look!

 When I was in Bible college I was told that when God called you to ministry he would provide.  Specifically one of the things he would provide was the family we might have to leave behind.  There would be someone that would be that Mom or Grandma that we needed wherever God called us to serve.  Family has always been the hardest for me to be away from in our years of ministry.  The funny part is God didn't call us too far away, but he did take my parents to China for several years.  God helped fill the gap with the most beautiful and special lady, LaVada Smoot.

We moved to Fredonia in 1997.  LaVada was the first to show up on our doorstep with her famous potato soup whenever one of us was a bit under the weather.  I soon found she was a good source of advice for anything from potty training to cooking.   She taught me how to make bread in the bread machine and how to make sand plum jelly.  I found excuses to call or go visit her, and I kinda think she found excuses to have the kiddos over to her house or just drop in too.  The kids loved it when she showed up with a big bag filled with popcorn.  Before we knew it, Kayt started calling her Grandma Vada, and she unofficially became part of our family.

Our family grew, but that never stopped Grandma Vada.  She remembered their birthdays...every single one.  She would show up at the house with cookies for them and "a little something" special.  She also gave them each a special gift when they were baptized.   



Grandma Vada started the tradition of having the Miller's over for Christmas.  She always bought the kids a "little" something.  For dinner we had lasagna and the works with as much chocolate milk as the kids wanted to drink.  They thought they were in heaven!  When it got harder for her to do the big fancy dinner  Grandma Vada went to ordering pizza for Christmas dinner.  This was a rare treat for our family which had grown to 7 and then 9 children.    

What made all this so special?  It was the love and excitement LaVada always showed.  She exclaimed over the kids giving them big hugs.  She would answer the door and clasp her hands together and say, "Oh Look, the troops are here!" and her eyes were just sparkling.  The kids would do "performances" for her and make her things, and everything was wonderful and perfect in LaVada's eyes.  When we left she would stand at the door and wave to the kids until she couldn't see our big van any longer. 



As I reflect back I realize the most beautiful thing LaVada did for us was she loved our children.  I look at our children today, and they are rich because of her.  They have a wealth of memories they will never forget.  It is why as teenagers they still remembered her and would pay to have singing Valentines delivered to her house.  It is why as young adults they took time to stop by her care home to visit, to play piano and sing, to play the saxophone, to play the ukulele, and to laugh and get another hug.  She gave them so much.  She loved big!



The last visit I had with LaVada she asked me about all our children and what they were doing.  She was so proud of them.  She told me about her boys, her Danny and Tim.  How she loved them!  Family was everything to LaVada.  She  told me how Tim was such a good boy and came to see her and would hug her and hold her even when she was grumpy.   She told me how Danny called her every night and read the Bible to her.  She told me about Dena and each of the grandkids.  Then she talked about heaven and seeing Jamey and Carl again.  Most of all she imagined what it would be like to see Jesus.  Then we read some Bible verses together about heaven from Revelation 21:1-5.

Then I saw "a new heaven and a new earth," for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, there was no longer any sea.  I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.  And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying. "Look! God's dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them.  They will be his people, and he will dwell with them.  They will be his people, and He himself will be their God.  He will wipe every tear from their eyes.  There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.  He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true." 

LaVada sat there with a gentle smile and a soft dreamy look on her face as I finished reading.  She said, "Won't that be wonderful!"   

Somehow I can just picture her now.... LaVada in her new resurrected body with her hands clasped together and her eyes sparkling and that big beautiful smile on her face, "Oh, Look! Jesus is Here!!!"  

No more imagining.  Face to face.  A day long awaited for. 

Wednesday, April 12, 2023

Sweet Surrender

I was glancing back through my journal that I am about to close and stash away with many others when I found these words that I wrote in June of 2019.  I vividly remember penning these words through tears as I tried to come to terms with my husband's plans to change ministries.  This was a very personal and lonely struggle for me.  I share now only to say there are hard changes in life sometimes, but they become opportunities for growth.  I needed to struggle in the shadow of the cross.  There were things in my life that needed fully submitted to Him.  

I learned that it is in complete surrender that peace is found.  It is hard to describe that peace and why it is there.  Perhaps that is why we find these words penned by the apostle Paul in Philippians 4: 6-7,
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

The peace of God transcends all understanding.  It has become a prayer of mine that I will continue to find that peace in sweet surrender.   (But that surrender sure isn't easy!)

The battle wages
My way or His?
Show me how
I implore Him to reveal

"My life is good" I shout
fearing all that would be lost
Terrified of the unknown I beg
"Don't make me count the cost"

Sitting on that bench
in the shadow of the cross
I argue, I wrestle
until completely spent

Then words cried out in pain
whisper to my heart
"Not my will, but thine be done,"
my Jesus as He faced the cross

Conviction twists my soul within
My eyes sting with the tears
Ah, but Lord, "if it be possible remove this cup"
I do not wish the price to pay

But there in the garden all alone
He chose the plan divine
His sacrifice...a life...His life
that He could rescue mine

Why do I wrestle so within
an offering of my will to make
When Christ poured out his very life
to save a world that's lost

Now tears run freely
I struggle to let go
To yield completely
Conform my will to His

Beneath that cross
my face bowed low
I breathe at last
"Not my will, but yours" 

A love like HIS draws from my heart
sweet surrender
peace at last
as I wrestled at the cross


Tuesday, November 15, 2022

Until Then

 Dear Linda,

I do not weep for you.  My tears are for the empty spot inside of me.  I rejoice for you.  You are with the One you loved more than this life.  No more pain.  No more suffering.  If you can get this message in heaven, I just want to say thank you.  Thank you for all the memories.  My heart is full of gratitude to God for the blessing of you.  Thirty-eight beautiful years I knew you, and I treasure every one.



God brought you into my life when I was in 8th grade.  You taught our girl's Sunday School class at church.  We were a silly bunch of giggling middle school and high school girls.  I remember you shaking your head and laughing along with us. You would invite all of us crazy girls to your house for fun and taffy pulls.  You even braved loading us up in your car for shopping trips to Bartlesville each year.  You knew our secret crushes, our dreams, and our struggles.  We were all your girls, and I think you kept up with each of us over the years.


As I walk through the years of memories, I am filled with gratefulness to God for the gift of You.

I am thankful for...

-Guidance and love in my formative teen years.

-Sunday School class.

-Taffy pulls.

-Shopping trips.

-Phone conversations.

-Honesty and wisdom when I needed it as a minister's wife.

-Your listening ear.  You were the best listener!

-Lunch dates in Independence when I needed a break from all my kids.

-Your love for every single one of my children.

-Your faithfulness to God and your church family.  (Remember when we called the cops to do a well check when you didn't show to church one week.  That became a favorite story of yours.   "Don't miss a service at the Church of Christ or they call the cops.")

-The trips you made to Rose Hill just to see us after we moved.

-How you made me feel important, special, and loved.

-The last time I saw you at Family camp.  The last hug. The last goodbye.  (Oh, Linda, if I had known I would have made it all last longer.)


As I have been grieving, yet giving thanks and rejoicing in your home going, I've realized that I've not just lost a dear friend and mentor on this earth.  I've lost a mother.  That is what you have been in my life.  God knew it would take more than one mother to raise and guide me.  :)   Thank you for being you and taking me and so many others you knew under your wing.  You mothered many.  I am honored and blessed to have been one of them. 


Scripture says that, "Weeping may last for the night, but joy comes in the morning."  It is forever morning for you!  One day I will join you and lay my crown beside yours at the feet of our Jesus.



Until then,

Natasha