|Don't leave the sprinkler running and forget about it! Your children might change colors.|
1. When mom says, "Don't put your finger in the steam coming out of the vent hole in the canner," it might be a good idea to listen.
2. The trash can setting outside filled with bleach water does not make good drinking water.
3. When you get gasoline on your hand while filling the mower, take time to get a rag rather then licking it off.
4. The different colors of flakes in the fish food have different flavors.
5. When you are ten feet up in a tree and can't get down, dropping out is not a good option.
6. Using your hammers to put holes in the side of the neighbor's garage so you can climb on their roof will cost your allowance for over a year.
7. To remove a hose that is tied up in the air between two trees, don't sit on it while sawing on it with your pocket knife.
8. Climbing a tree with no hands does not work.
9. Don't ever let go of the rope tied in the tree if you are swinging on it with one foot secured in a loop tied with a slip knot lest you find yourself hanging upside down by one leg.
10. If paint thinner is used to remove tar from the backside of the jeans, take them off right away. Sitting in them causes burns to the buns.
11. Putting a zip tie around your neck and pulling on it will cause you to gasp for air.
12. Spraying a campfire with bug spray can cause burns.
13. When you first learn how to write, don't write your name across the forehead of your baby sister's doll and then claim she did it.
14. Slipping up with your words can cause hysterical laughter especially when you refer to yourself as a "human feces" when you mean "human species."
15. When mom says, "Get dressed and put on your socks and shoes," listen carefully. Just following the instruction for the last thing you heard will cause you great embarrassment.
16. What you are allowed to do while out camping does not carry over to town just after church is dismissed. Mom does not get a kick out of her three year old "watering" the flowers out front as everyone is leaving services.
17. When you have a headache don't get distracted when getting out your Excedrin and stop to get out the dog's antibiotic because you may accidentally take the wrong pill.
18. When the nursery worker gets down on her knees to help pick up toys, it is not a good idea to climb on her back and swat her on the backside and say, "Giddy-up."
19. When done swimming in the wading pool, don't take off your trunks and leave them in the pool while going to play in the yard.
20. Don't invite your grandma to sit in the backseat of the minivan with you, and then tell her, "Well, Grandma, if you weren't so fat you would be able to get back here easier." Grandma will laugh so hard that she will need the restroom but she won't be able to get out quickly.