Life with Teens

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Teens--You gotta love them!

They long for independence.
They want to make their own decisions.  
They don't want to be told what to do.

I find it difficult to transition to giving more freedom.
I want to protect them from poor choices.
And honestly I have a hard time giving up control.

Here's a peek into life at our house these days:

"Mom, can I buy ______________ ?"

One part of me is thinking, "We've taught you about saving, spending, and giving.  I know the money is not making it into it's allotted categories.  We've asked you to write down "wants" in a book and think about them for a month first.  That didn't happen.  No, of course, you can't buy ________________!"

Then my other side argues, "They are teens now.  They need to make mistakes and learn from them.  Just let them spend the money.  It's their money.  They earned it.  And hey, the good part is they won't have enough money to buy a car or insurance if they spend it all now.  No worries about driving anytime soon!!!"

photo from freedigitalphotos.net


I finally answer, "That is fine.  It's your money.  Do with it as you like."

"But mom, it might not be on sale if I wait," he argues.

"I know.  I told you it was fine.  It's up to you."

"It's a really good deal.  Look how well it's made," he continues.

"Why are you trying to persuade me?  I said you could buy it," I ask wondering why he seems to be arguing with me.

"I want you to tell me it's ok."

Puzzled now I reply, "I did say it was ok."

"No, I want you to think it's ok."

The truth of the matter dawns on me.  "Oh, now I get it.  After teaching you to save a portion, give a portion, and spend only a small portion of your earnings, and after teaching you to wait for gratification and think about purchases, you want me to approve of your decision."

"Yes!" he says.

All I can do is shake my head and wonder. 

Life with teens--I love it!!!  Really I do.


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