I decided to go ahead and post because of the lesson this experience taught me. So many things I learn about myself through my children and parenting. It's as though my children's relationship with me often reflects my relationship with my Heavenly Father. I see myself in them.
My second reason for posting was because when adoption is involved "identity" can be a big issue for children. They often feel like they don't "fit" in their adoptive families. They wonder what it would be like with their birth parents. In addition, whether we like it or not, it can become an issue for us as parents too. We want our children to accept their identity with us...sometimes even blindly without looking back. I'm not sure that is fair to them.
As I look back on the event I realize my son had no intention of hurting me with his action. He is searching. He's trying to figure out who he is and where he fits. Was it wrong? I don't know that it was. His birth family is part of who he is. He has the difficult job of figuring out how to put it all together and make sense of it. That is not something I can even begin to understand.
I am proud of my son. He has taken difficult circumstances and risen above them. He is a well-liked and respectful young man. He is happy and fun to be around. In the past couple years, our relationship has taken a full turn around. I know he loves me, and I can always count on him to give me several big ole' bear hugs each day. He's a beautiful gift from God.
So as I struggle with whether to post or not to post, please bear with me.
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