Monday, September 15, 2014

Do Not Worry

A little comment from my husband, "I think we are falling behind on the budget." 

A trip to the grocery store.  The price of milk up to $4.50 a gallon.  I can't afford the hamburger at over $4.00 a pound.  I opt for chicken.

It is time to fill up the tank on the van.  Well over $100 is guzzled by that hungry beast.  My husband makes the hard choice to skip one of Troy's football games to save a little gas money.

I see the college bills.  Yikes!  Thankful for responsible children who are working hard to pay their own way, but I sure would like to be able to help out more.

Then it happens.  I start to worry.  I know I shouldn't.  God has always taken care of us. 

I persist in my worry.  Fretting and even complaining.  I didn't deserve grace.  God gave it anyway, just like he did for those Israelites wandering in the desert so many years ago. 

A friend stopped by out of the blue.  She said, "I have this coat.  It's brand new.  It hasn't ever been worn, but my son outgrew it before he could ever wear it.  I wanted Kaishawn to have it.  I know it's a little big now.  But maybe you could save it for later."

God's gentle voice telling me, "See I am big enough to take care of the future."

Shared some time with friends from a distance.  He commented on the few tomatoes I had sitting on the dishwasher.  I offered them to him.  We are tired of them now...having eaten on them all summer.  He handed me a slip of paper and said, "This should pay for them."  I opened it, and it was a $120 gift certificate for the grocery store.

God's gentle voice telling me, "I promised to provide food."

Shopping with a friend today.  Some of the boys were needing jeans.  I found 3 pairs at the thrift store that looked like new, but still needed a few more.  We stopped at Walmart and found 3 more pair on clearance. 

God's gentle voice telling me, "I promised to provide clothing."

We stopped at Braum's on our way home to pick up milk.  The lady who checked me out said, "Since you spent more then $15, you get a free loaf of bread."

And I repented of my worrying.  Why did I ever doubt?  God has always provided for our needs.  He promised he would.  He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. 

Lord, forgive me for doubting.  Forgive me for complaining.  Forgive me for worrying.  May I seek You and You Alone!  Amen.

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"

 "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.  Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?  So do not worry , saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'  For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Matthew 6:25-34


Sunday, September 14, 2014


When I have hardly blogged over the last year, it is hard to know where to start.  I want to start by giving thanks though.  I am thankful to my heavenly Father who has provided some answers for me with my health.

Over the past several years, I have struggled with fatigue.  When I mentioned it to our doctor on a couple different occasions he just laughed and said, "You have how many children???"  As if that explained it all.

Recently I visited a nurse practitioner who specializes in natural hormone replacement therapy.  She did blood work and found my hormone levels to be extremely low.  She started me on some natural hormones, and that seemed to help some.  However, when I went back a month later, I told her I still felt like I was more tired then what was natural.

I had energy first thing in the morning.  By lunch time, I needed a nap.  Even after a nap, I would struggle to find energy to get supper and wrap up the day's activities.  Sometimes I would just hit a wall, and I could not function.  Most of the time, I made it through supper and was just thankful when I could sit down in a chair.  I had no drive to do anything in the evening with the children or my husband.   I simply wanted left alone.

The nurse practitioner told me to try the iodine test.  It should take my body 24 hours to absorb iodine applied to the skin if I was getting sufficient iodine for my thyroid to function properly.  My body absorbed the iodine in 3 hrs.  It was completely gone.  I am now taking iodine tablets, and after a week and a half I feel like a different person.  Each day I feel better.  I did not realize how bad I was.

I've also been free from migraines for a month and a half.  The hormone replacement therapy along with a magnesium supplement were the prescription for those.  God is so good!  I'm thankful for his provision.  My husband is thankful.  He feels like he is getting his wife back.  And as Alex said, "Mom, you are smiling."  Yep!  And that is a blessing....

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.  Psalm 107:1

Sunday, August 17, 2014

College Days Ahead

I have found myself prone to tears at any given moment for the past few days.  Life is changing once again.  We helped Kayt move into her college dorm room this past Thursday.  It seems ironic that I can be happy for and proud of my daughter and sad all at the same time.

Perhaps this time has been a little more challenging then when Ryan left two years ago.  Kayt is having a harder time.  She is homesick and trying hard to be brave and strong.  That makes it harder for me.  The momma in me wants to fix it all right now.  However, being homesick is something each person has to work through at some point.  I remember the feeling.  It takes time.

I am thankful I have been given the privilege of having a daughter whom I miss desperately.  God gave me a wonderful gift.  She has been a rock in our lives.  She is steady and loves God deeply.  I'm wondering what God has planned for her.  I'm excited about what she will do for him with her life.

My head acknowledges the blessings.   My heart misses the way things were.  My head knows it will get better.  My heart knows things will never be quite the same.  My head knows there are exciting times ahead.  My heart misses the day in and day out presence.  My head knows it will be super exciting to have that first visit home and celebrate all the new firsts in Kayt's life.

We are going through one of life's transitions.  One mother and friend I talked to on Thursday was leaving her daughter at college and heading back to Taiwan where her and her husband are missionaries.  I realized I should be thankful my daughter is only two hours away.  Then I cried buckets on the ride home.  I thought,  "I am such a wimp."  Then I read a post from another friend on Facebook.  She had moved her daughter into the same college dorm that day.  She was experiencing bouts of tears like I was.  She lived right there in town and was only minutes away.  15 minutes, 2 hours, half way around the world, the distance doesn't matter a whole lot.  It is a change in life, and one we will all adjust to.

So while my head and heart battle this all out, know that I might cry at unexpected moments.  If I do, give me a moment to get my emotions pulled back together.  I'll be ok.  I probably won't want to talk about it right then for fear of falling apart completely.  I'll take hugs though.  And when I do get it together, I will probably tell you all about Kayt and how she's doing.  I might talk your leg off.  I am proud of that girl.


Wednesday, June 11, 2014

A Glimpse of Heaven

On a walk this evening
I watched my youngest daughter 
dance as she chased the cottonwood seeds
blowing through the air.

I heard our little boy's quick intake of breath
as he looked in awe at a bunny crouched
in the grass.

My oldest daughter was beside me
Neither one of us feeling the need to talk
Just were content to be together
Enjoying the beautiful evening.

Dancing with abandon
Awed at his creation
Walking together in sweet fellowship
 And I wonder if this is a glimpse of heaven...