Mother of Seven + 2

There are several women who have been role models and teachers to me.  Esther Friend was one of those people in my life.  Titus 2:3-5 says, Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.  Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. Esther taught me much about how to love my husband.  I remember meeting Esther when I was twelve years old.  To me she was beautiful.  She often had a smile as she cheerfully worked serving those around her.  She was in her element when she had a kitchen at her disposal with lots of people to feed.   Over the years what stood out to me about Esther was the way she worked alongside her husband.  They farmed together, raised dogs together, and drov...

I have struggled the past six years.  The struggle has been with forgiveness.   I want to think I have forgiven, but it comes back to haunt me over and over. Deep hurt and pain do not go away overnight.  Betrayal changed me.  The "open armed" love that I had embraced life with was replaced with fear of being hurt again.  Depression and anxiety became my companions. How to forgive became the question?  Or was it how to keep forgiving when new wounds were exposed?  How to keep forgiving when the old wounds festered and broke open?  How to forgive when the one who has wronged me does not seek forgiveness? Loving broken children is never easy.  However, I still truly believe every child deserves love and a chance at a better life. Our on-going struggle with Troy who was nearly eight when he came to us was no secret.  He was severely wounded.  We prayed.  We enlisted many to pray with us.  We loved with all we had....

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."  Ephesians 4:32 One of the first verses I memorized as a child was Ephesians 4:32.  I remember my dad telling me how he often had to quote the same verse when he fought with his brother.  Following the family tradition, my children all knew this verse as the "B verse" in our alphabet memory verses.  A fight would break out, and I was ask them to quote the "B verse."  When the fighting didn't stop, they earned the privilege of writing it on paper ten times. One particular child wrote Ephesians 4:32 so many times that at the age of 6, he proudly proclaimed to his grandparents that he could spell the word "compassionate."  Yes.  Yes, he could.  He had much practice.  Being kind was hard for this child, but I often found it much harder as a parent to teach the second portion of this verse. We had many a "face off."  Two angry chil...

This lesson was a challenge for me.  I didn't know how to go about writing it.  During my morning walk a couple mornings, I prayed for God to give me guidance.  Often times something will come to mind while I am in prayer, but nothing did.  I continued to wrestle with this lesson even as I sat down to write it.  Then it came to me how appropriate it was that I was struggling with this topic.  Forgiveness is something we struggle with.  It doesn't come easy.  It feels like a battle of tug-of-war. Photo from www.freedigitalphotos.net "And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."   Eph. 4:32 KJV This is one of the first Bible verses I remember memorizing.  My sister called me "dumb or stupid," and I was reminded of Ephesians 4:32.  My brother broke my china teapot, and I was reminded of Ephesians 4:32.  My best friend played with someone bes...

The Connection between Prayer and our Hearts. David was called a man after God's own heart. Many of the Psalms are a record of the prayers and praises of David. He spent much time communicating with God. In order to have hearts modeled after God's, we need to follow David's example of communicating with the one who made us. After all only God can mold our hearts to look like his.  Prayer is essential in an undivided heart. In Psalm 86 we find one of David's prayers. “ Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.” Psalm 86:11 What kind of heart did David ask God for? Make a list of things that can divide our hearts. Photo from www.freedigitalphotos.net What indicates to us where our hearts are? Mt. 6:19-21 “For where your ______________________ is, there your _______________________ will be also.” Looking back at our list of things that divide our hear...

 “ Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.” Psalm 86:11 Photo from www.freedigitalphotos.net When we marry someone, we want their full heart. We want their devotion. We don't want to share it with someone or something else. When Les and I were first married, we didn't have a computer. I worked for a full year babysitting to save enough money to buy our first computer. When we at last bought it, my husband was quiet enamored with it. He spent hours learning it. He would stay up late arranging his files, setting up the desktop, and researching information. I started to get jealous. I lay in bed night after night by myself. I threatened to buy a wig for the computer monitor and name it Fanny. He didn't think that was too funny. Why was I so upset? I felt like something was interfering with his devotion to me. The newness of the computer did wear off eventually and we laugh about those days now,...

Before moving on to lessons about the kind of heart God wants us to have, I'd like to spend some time discussing what an improper guard around our heart would look like. Troy came to our home when he was 7 years old.  He had been badly hurt.  In the past 2 1/2 years he had been in 5 foster homes and had been abused in ways that to this day break my heart.  The one thing he was determined  NOT to do was to love us or to allow us to love him.  The first year was challenging.  He was guarding his heart from ever being hurt again. Troy would get angry and yell at me with tears, "Just call foster care and have them come get me!"  I'd tell him that parents don't do that.  We are given children, and we love them through the hard.  "I don't want you to love me," he would scream.  Over and over we went through this.  Finally one day I took the phone and set it in front of him.  I said, "Troy, if you are that miserable here, you may ...

Photo from www.freedigitalphotos.net Protect means to keep from being damaged, attacked, stolen, or injured; to guard. What types of things do we go to great lengths to protect? How do we protect these things? What should we guard above all else? (Proverbs 4:23) Why? What helps guard our hearts? Proverbs 30:5 (see also II Sam. 22:31; Ps. 18:30) - II Tim. 1:12-14 - Philippians 4:-6-7 Why is there no other effective way to guard our hearts? - Psalm 127:1 Read Psalm 91. This is a beautiful description of God's protection. What are some of the descriptions of God's protection from this passage? Who is promised this protection? What are we protected from? Psalm 119:11 - Eph. 6:10-18 –   Hebrews 2:14-15 – II Pet. 3:17-18 – What makes the Word of God a powerful protector? Psalm 19:7-11 - II Tim. 3:16-17 - Hebrews 4:12-13 - Rev. 19:11-21 - The best ...

When I was in grade school, my grandparents gave me a china tea set. I loved my play dishes. With our dolls gathered around my sister and I enjoyed many a tea party. Each plate and cup was set lovingly on the table. We would gingerly pick the teacups up and sip our pretend tea. When our tea party was over, I carefully washed the dishes and then wrapped them in newspaper and packed them tenderly back in their box. I treasured my tea set. I protected it. My treasured tea set I fear many times that I have put more effort into guarding or protecting earthly possessions then in guarding my spiritual heart. The Scripture tells me, "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." (Proverbs 4:23) This passage clearly states the importance of guarding the heart. Life comes from the heart. If it is not guarded well, spiritual death can occur.  My heart is the seat of my emotions, attitudes, and character.  It is the location of my thoughts and de...

Our usual way of living life has been turned upside down in recent days.  Thankfully we serve a God who is the same yesterday, today, and forever.  His Word is truth amidst a flood of news in which it is increasingly hard to discern the truth.  According to I Peter 5:8 our enemy, the devil, is always on the prowl seeking whom he can destroy.  That is why we must be alert and put on the armor of God that is described in Ephesians 6:10-18. In a battle the enemy goes for the heart because if he can mortally wound the heart, life will slip away.  Now more then ever we need to understand our spiritual hearts and be prepared for the battle ahead. So grab your Bible and a cup of coffee and sit down and join me for a "heart to heart" study. Study Guide #1 The human heart is a muscle that beats an average of 70 times per minute.  That is 100,000 times a day, 36 million times a year, and 3 billion times in a lifetime.  It's primary job is to keep our blo...

The heart – It is an interesting subject. We all know we have an organ in our body called the heart. Its purpose is to pump blood. This blood as it courses through the body takes impurities out of the body and brings nutrients to the organs that need them. This process is vital in transporting life-giving oxygen throughout the body and carrying carbon dioxide back to the lungs to be expelled from the body. The heart is essential for physical life. If the physical heart fails, physical life ends. Image from FreeDigitalPhotos.net  But the heart that intrigues me is the spiritual heart. We cannot see it. We cannot touch it. Yet it is there. It can be healthy, or it can be sick. When the spiritual heart fails, it can mean eternal death. But when it is healthy and strong, it can mean eternal life. Image from FreeDigitalPhotos.net During the summer of 2011 I went through a period of extreme discouragement. Circumstances in my life were sucking away my joy....

Those teen years are not something I desire to revisit.  Our family moved to Fredonia when I was going into 8th grade.  Until that time, my world had felt secure.  I attended a small K-12 Christian school where my dad was the principal.  There were only about 8 students in each class.  I had a best friend since kindergarten days.  I felt important and special since my dad was the principal.  When we moved, I didn't know anyone and attended public school for the first time.  Although it was a small school with 50+ students per class, it was huge and overwhelming to me. I was shy and quiet by nature.  The change rocked my world, and insecurity became my companion.  At school most the students had been raised together.  It was a tight knit community.  It felt hard to fit in.  I was different.  My parents were conservative.  I didn't dance or swim at public pools.  My clothing was weird.  I didn't wear sh...

Sometimes it is tempting to give up.  It's too big of a job.  In reality it is impossible in human terms...to become like Jesus.   With each passing year I only become more aware of my failings. Looking out our patio windows this morning I contemplated these words,  "Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared their humanity..." (Hebrews 2:14a)   The horizon began to lighten. An orange glow crept slowly up the eastern sky.   The gradual transformation from darkness into light whispered to my heart. The sun suddenly seemed to be floating on the tree line, and it hits me.  Before Jesus called me to become like him, he became like me.  Tears slowly formed and overflowed.  He took on flesh.  He faced everything I face.  He understands. "Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession.  For we do not have a high priest who is una...

Worship. That was the answer he gave me. I was struggling in a relationship. I had done all I could. Nothing else was left to do, and things were still awry. Turning to a godly mentor, I expected to hear a tangible list of options. His answer was "worship." I was taken aback. However, I had nothing else I could do. So I focused on worship....Worship of the one and only Creator...Worship of the Almighty and All-powerful God...Worship of the One who holds all things in his hands. In that time I discovered that I had become wrapped up in self. I was focused on my human abilities to fix a problem. I had lost sight of God. Worship didn't fix the human relationship where I was struggling. However, worship righted my relationship with God that had become out of focus amidst the strain of human struggle. Much of the Old Testament is focused around worship, I realize. The Israelites either worshipped God or they worshipped idols. I often shake my head at th...

Our daughter had a wonderful wedding day surrounded by many, many friends.  So, I don't want anyone to take this post wrong.  However, God placed this on my heart the evening after the wedding, and it has changed my perspective and maybe just maybe helped me see the heart of God better. After a beautiful wedding on Saturday, I lay in bed reflecting.  I began to realize there were people missing that had been invited.  Some disappointment seeped in.  How much I had wanted to share the day with them.  Even though many had not RSVP'd I had hoped it was an oversight and had made sure we had more then enough food.  There were a few moments of sadness that I had not had the opportunity to share this special day and now a memory together with them.  However, I understood the demands of life.  I myself have missed important events in the lives of my own family and close friends. Then this hit me... "At the time of the banquet he sent his s...

I'm feeling battle weary this morning.  It's been a week of spiritual battles at our house. Beseeching God for a wandering son. A heart torn apart as tough love had to step forward. Grappling with whether we did the right thing. Seeking God's guidance for a son searching for God's will. Feeling his struggle. Deciphering when to speak or when to be quiet. Battling the wills with our younger two. Trying to reach their hearts. Feeling defeated more often then not. It's easy during these times to make it about me.  I was reminded of that when I read these words, "The idol of idols really is the idol of self.  We make it all about us.  We put ourselves in the center of the story." (Paul David Tripp, New Morning Mercies, August 3.) I want to say, "Why can't something come easy for once?"  I want certain outcomes because I would feel better.  I'd truly feel like my time had been better spent if God answered in a certain way.  Thi...