Who's on the throne?
I'm feeling battle weary this morning. It's been a week of spiritual battles at our house.
Beseeching God for a wandering son.
A heart torn apart as tough love had to step forward.
Grappling with whether we did the right thing.
Seeking God's guidance for a son searching for God's will.
Feeling his struggle.
Deciphering when to speak or when to be quiet.
Battling the wills with our younger two.
Trying to reach their hearts.
Feeling defeated more often then not.
It's easy during these times to make it about me. I was reminded of that when I read these words, "The idol of idols really is the idol of self. We make it all about us. We put ourselves in the center of the story." (Paul David Tripp, New Morning Mercies, August 3.)
I want to say, "Why can't something come easy for once?" I want certain outcomes because I would feel better. I'd truly feel like my time had been better spent if God answered in a certain way. This little world that I live in...I want all to fall into place so that I can feel good about it, so I can live at peace.
However, my little world...It's just a part of the bigger universe. A universe where "In the beginning God" are the first words written for mankind. It's God's world. It was created by him and for him. It didn't start about me or some other human. Even now all of his creation awaits His return. His book ends with the promise, "Yes, I am coming soon." It will still be about Him on the last day.
So, how do I resist the temptation to make life all about me?
I must keep centered on Him and His heart for the world.
I must remember the struggles my children are having are not about me. They are their own struggles with putting God on the throne of their lives and removing self.
My desires for my children are good and even godly, but I must be seeking it for His sake not for my own. Then at those times when nothing seems to be going in the right direction, I must not give up and give in to my own pity party for self. I must continue to keep God on the throne of my life.
Something happened yesterday that I realized vividly illustrates our struggle with putting God on the throne. I'm going to share it not as a negative about my child but as an illustration of how we really are so many times.
Yesterday was a self-willed day on Avarie's part. There was no convincing her to obey. I'd finally told her I was done. She was going to have to decide obedience is what she wanted. She knew what I was asking was right. At one point during the day her dad shared a verse with her and she was frustrated. She exclaimed, "Those are the exact same words mom said." He explained to her that's because they are truth and they are Bible. I will not go into details about the battles fought except to say it wasn't pretty.
When I tucked Avarie in bed last night and sat beside her to pray, her face crumpled. She told me that she had done an awful thing. I told her the best thing was to talk to God about it. She said, "But I disrespected his Word. When I was mad I threw my Bible across the room and stomped on it." We talked for awhile and then a tearful and repentant young lady asked God to forgive her and to still love her.
Walking out of the room, I realized how intense a battle had been fought. It was a battle of who was on the throne. God's Word was convicting her. That angered her, and she took out her anger in the passionate way she does everything in life. However, peace wasn't found there. Instead she continued to be tormented all day, and we bore the brunt of the battle. Peace came finally with submission and repentance.
I may not so openly try to put myself on the throne of my life, but it truly the same thing. It's a defiant making myself out to be who it is all about despite what his Word says. I only find peace when I submit and keep him right where he belongs. My children weren't the only ones fighting the battle in their lives this week. I'm right there with them. We all are. It's a daily struggle. It's so easy to slide into that throne. "Lord, keep me where I belong. You are my all in all."
Beseeching God for a wandering son.
A heart torn apart as tough love had to step forward.
Grappling with whether we did the right thing.
Seeking God's guidance for a son searching for God's will.
Feeling his struggle.
Deciphering when to speak or when to be quiet.
Battling the wills with our younger two.
Trying to reach their hearts.
Feeling defeated more often then not.
It's easy during these times to make it about me. I was reminded of that when I read these words, "The idol of idols really is the idol of self. We make it all about us. We put ourselves in the center of the story." (Paul David Tripp, New Morning Mercies, August 3.)
I want to say, "Why can't something come easy for once?" I want certain outcomes because I would feel better. I'd truly feel like my time had been better spent if God answered in a certain way. This little world that I live in...I want all to fall into place so that I can feel good about it, so I can live at peace.
However, my little world...It's just a part of the bigger universe. A universe where "In the beginning God" are the first words written for mankind. It's God's world. It was created by him and for him. It didn't start about me or some other human. Even now all of his creation awaits His return. His book ends with the promise, "Yes, I am coming soon." It will still be about Him on the last day.
So, how do I resist the temptation to make life all about me?
I must keep centered on Him and His heart for the world.
I must remember the struggles my children are having are not about me. They are their own struggles with putting God on the throne of their lives and removing self.
My desires for my children are good and even godly, but I must be seeking it for His sake not for my own. Then at those times when nothing seems to be going in the right direction, I must not give up and give in to my own pity party for self. I must continue to keep God on the throne of my life.
Something happened yesterday that I realized vividly illustrates our struggle with putting God on the throne. I'm going to share it not as a negative about my child but as an illustration of how we really are so many times.
Yesterday was a self-willed day on Avarie's part. There was no convincing her to obey. I'd finally told her I was done. She was going to have to decide obedience is what she wanted. She knew what I was asking was right. At one point during the day her dad shared a verse with her and she was frustrated. She exclaimed, "Those are the exact same words mom said." He explained to her that's because they are truth and they are Bible. I will not go into details about the battles fought except to say it wasn't pretty.
When I tucked Avarie in bed last night and sat beside her to pray, her face crumpled. She told me that she had done an awful thing. I told her the best thing was to talk to God about it. She said, "But I disrespected his Word. When I was mad I threw my Bible across the room and stomped on it." We talked for awhile and then a tearful and repentant young lady asked God to forgive her and to still love her.
Walking out of the room, I realized how intense a battle had been fought. It was a battle of who was on the throne. God's Word was convicting her. That angered her, and she took out her anger in the passionate way she does everything in life. However, peace wasn't found there. Instead she continued to be tormented all day, and we bore the brunt of the battle. Peace came finally with submission and repentance.
I may not so openly try to put myself on the throne of my life, but it truly the same thing. It's a defiant making myself out to be who it is all about despite what his Word says. I only find peace when I submit and keep him right where he belongs. My children weren't the only ones fighting the battle in their lives this week. I'm right there with them. We all are. It's a daily struggle. It's so easy to slide into that throne. "Lord, keep me where I belong. You are my all in all."
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