Sunday, January 29, 2012

Help, I need instructions!

Being a mother is the best job I've ever had, but it also is the hardest job I've ever had. It would be nice if children came with instruction manuals. I need guidance for this journey called motherhood.

Image: Vlado /

James 1:5-8 says, "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does."
Contemplating these verses I realize God has the wisdom I need to raise my children. I need to trust him and be willing to ask him for guidance.

I noticed in particular the part of the verse that says God gives "generously to all without finding fault." Have you ever asked someone to help you with something, and the way in which they responded and helped made you feel completely stupid? I sure have. But God is not like that. He gives his wisdom without finding fault. That means I have nothing to fear when I go before him seeking his wisdom.

I'm realizing that I don't really need an instruction manual for each of my unique children. God, their Creator, who knows everything about each one of them promises to give me the wisdom I need. What better instructions can a mom have then that?

Linking up with:


  1. I've read those verses so many times, but here's what I don't understand. When we ask for wisdom from God, how do we know what it is He wants us to do? Too many times when I pray, I feel like I told God what it was I was struggling with, but then without knowing what else to do, just went and did the thing I was thinking of. But how do I know that was God's will?

    We are being licensed to become foster parents, but my husband is still finishing school. What we are struggling with right now is when do we accept our first child? Now when they ask, or in April when he's graduated? Or how do we know which children to say yes to and which to say no to?

    I feel like I can pray about these things, but especially with figuring out when, I don't know how God is supposed to give me the wisdom to figure it out. And once we've made a decision, should we not second guess (doubt) it? But what if it was the wrong decision?

    See where I'm struggling?!? Any suggestions?


    1. When it came to our foster care/adoption journey, we boldly prayed specific prayers. We prayed that we would only be in the foster care system for one year. We prayed for a sibling group all under age of eight with at least one girl. We prayed that our children at the time would be totally on board. God answered each of those prayers. We received one phone call for two girls before we found our children. However, one girl was older then our age limit. My heart strings were tugged, however. My husband and I thought we would go for it. We then talked to our children about it, but our oldest son just fell apart. He cried. He said it just wasn't right. He was a mess. We knew then we couldn't proceed.

      My advice: Set yourself some guidelines for what you feel comfortable with when it comes to foster care. Have your husband do the same. Pray about it. Then put your lists together, talk them over, and come to agreement. Then stick with the limits you've set knowing God has given you the wisdom to decide what is best for your family.

      As far as second guessing. There will be times of struggle and trial and you will question. I always go back and look at all the answered prayers, and then I'm once again reassured that we are doing exactly what God wants.

      And I do understand your struggle. I have had many of those same questions. I'd be glad to visit with you more. Contact me at

  2. I could have used some of that wisdom this morning when I threatened Reese that she would have to go to church naked (in her underwear) if she wasn't dressed and ready. I'm really thankful she didn't call me on that because I would have had to follow through and then the whole modesty lecture she got yesterday would have been shot. Next time I better pray before I open my big mouth, huh. Love ya sis! You are a wonderful mother.

  3. I realize you did not ask me, but these are my thoughts. Make yourself available, and God will bring the child(ren) at the right time, HIS time. You may not be able to discern His answer because He has already spoken by directing you in this manner-to become licensed, and trust Him for the rest (who, when, how many.) in my life, I have tried to tell God what my boundaries/parameters are. I am sure you are imagining an audible giggle from God now, as I did when I just wrote that! ;) just being willing and available and He will take care of the rest. Blessings on you and your upcoming adventure!

    Peggy S., Fl. (couldn't get google acct to work here via mobile)

    1. Wise words. God did mold us and change us through the whole process. We went into foster care thinking we would adopt one little girl. God changed our hearts, and we ended up with three. But No, we can't tell God what our parameters are. He's the Almighty. However, we can ask God to guide our decisions. There was so much we were frightened of in the whole foster care process. We often felt like Gideon putting out the fleece. We felt so humbled when he answered our prayers.

  4. Thank you all for your responses! I will talk with my husband in a few hours. I really like the suggestion of each of us writing out what our guidelines are, and in fact, we already kind of talked about them last night. Right now, we are being asked to take in a little boy, much sooner than we anticipated (we don't even have our license yet!!), and it's hard to figure out if we should or not. And your post couldn't have come at a better time to really help me think through and pray through the decision. Thank you!