Favoritism

"You love the other kids more then me!  Everyone wants to adopt Mikey and Amber but not me!" were the angry words spewing from Troy's mouth.  His whole body was tense.  He had been hurt in the past, and he was afraid he would be rejected again.


In a quiet voice I patiently said, "I don't expect you to believe me when I say 'I love you.'  I'm just asking you to give me time to show you my love."  This scenario played out over and over that first year before our adoption was finalized. 

Life had hurt our Troy.  At just eight years old he unfortunately had been told by other foster families that he was not wanted but that his brother and sister were.  He suffered the consequences of adults showing favoritism.

My boys--No favorites here!  Troy and Alex

"My brothers, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, don't show favoritism."  James 2:1

In the book of Genesis the story of Joseph also shows the effects of favoritism.  Genesis 37:3,4 says, "Now Israel loved Joseph more than any of his other sons, because he had been born to him in his old age; and he made a richly ornamented robe for him.  When his brother saw that their father loved him more than any of them, they hated him and could not speak a kind word to him."  What tragic results for that family.

The reality is that in any family there are some we relate to easier then others.  I've had to deal with this issue not only with my biological children, but especially with the children we adopted.  Adoption brought a whole new set of genes into our family make-up.  There are times we simply do not understand each other.  However, I've had to learn to truly love.  (And I continue to learn each day.)

"Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails." I Cor. 13:4-8a 

God is the ultimate example of one who loves without playing favorites.  When we are a part of his family, we are all his children.

"You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.  There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus."  Gal. 3:26-28

With God we have no fear of rejection.  We have no fear of Him loving someone more than us.

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."  Romans 8:38-39