|Going ahead down the road. Image: dan / FreeDigitalPhotos.net|
One weekend we left our three adopted children (at the time they were still foster children) with a special previous foster family who wanted to spend time with them. We visited a museum with the other children and went on a walk. It was so calm and peaceful. We had a delightful time. On our way home that evening, I broke down crying. I didn't know how to put into words what I was feeling. But in a sense I was mourning for what had been our family and how it had changed. I realized the finality of our situation. Although I wouldn't have changed it, there was a part of me that grieved for what was no more.
The children helped me realize I couldn't live looking back. By the time the weekend was over they were truly missing their brothers and sister. They made comments like, "It doesn't seem right without them. I wonder what they are doing. Do you think they'll want to come home? The van feels empty." Yes, life had forever changed, but it was time to look forward. For us to bond as a family it was a necessity.