Mother of Seven + 2

My firstborn child, Ryan, was not good at taking his nap.  By the time he was two years old, I was hard pressed to get him to nap at all.  I had a new baby, I was exhausted, and I needed nap time even if he didn't. I began "quiet time" out of sheer desperation.  I would set a timer for one hour.  Then we would load his bed with books and a few quiet toys.  He would have to stay on his bed until the timer went off.  After a few days, this routine was  pulled off without a hitch.  Ryan didn't mind playing quietly and looking at books.  He just didn't want told he had to go to sleep.  The funny part was that more then half the time he ended up asleep. I continued this routine with each of our children thinking that it would eventually come to an end when all the children outgrew naps.  However, this has not been the case.  Since I homeschool, I found that quiet time was the perfect time for the children to do their chapter book reading.  They look forward to this p

The last two foster homes our children were in, they had to leave quickly without having opportunity to say good-bye  This was due to allegations of abuse to the children by the foster families.   For Amber the result ended up being panic attacks. 2009 The first time we packed suitcases so we could go on a road trip, Amber sat hugging her knees, rocking back and forth, and crying.  She was difficult to console.  We noticed a pattern of these episodes whenever we tried to go somewhere. Another struggle was when we had unknown people stop by our house, especially social workers.  Amber would either cling to my leg and hide behind me, or she would go hide in her bedroom.  I found her in the corner under her bed one time. We realized that she had a lot of fear during times when she was unsure of what was going on.  Panic attacks were triggered, and she coped as best she could.  It helped to tell her ahead of time over and over where we were going, what we were doing, or who was co

Sometimes it can be downright embarrassing to have company over.  I have looked across the table to see one of my children shoveling the food in with his fingers.  On another occasion I caught grandma discreetly trying to wipe some food off her shirt that her grandchild had splattered on her.  Or there was the time one of the boys spit food on the company while talking with his mouth full. I tried to teach the children table manners but I was met with groans and complaints when correcting them.  Finally I invested in a little game entitled Manners for Mealtimes .  It comes with two sets of cards.  There are 10 cards in each set.  The cards have manners listed on them, and they are laminated in order to protect them while in use at the dinner table.  The first set of cards has basic manners on them like "No rude noises."  The second set of cards adds more manners to the first set like "Always thank your hostess for the meal."  Each family member has a card during

When it is time to straighten the house, I tend to have ADD.  I start in the kitchen, but then I see the package of toilet paper on the table that needs taken upstairs.  I take it upstairs to the bathroom and notice the towels need straightened.  As I straighten them, I spot a pair of shorts left on the floor.  Picking them up, I take them to the laundry basket in my room. There are stacks of clean laundry on the dresser.  I stop and put it away. Once I can see my dresser top, I find a tube of medicine left out.  I take it downstairs to put it away in the medicine cabinet above the refrigerator.  While up on the chair the dirt accumulation on top of the refrigerator distracts me and I decide to wipe it off.  Whew, I'm about worn out, and I haven't cleaned a room yet! To help solve my problem about ten years ago I came up with the laundry basket method.  I place a laundry basket in the room I'm cleaning.  As I clean that room I place anything that doesn't belong in the

August 2006 Many times I wonder what confusion and pain Amber must have felt when she came to us.  She had just turned three years old the month previously.  The day we picked the children up, she had come to me immediately.  She called me "Momma" right off.  She loved to laugh, yet there was pain behind those sky blue eyes.  On the way home, she clung to a small baby doll I had given her, and she cried off and on.  I thought she was not happy about having to sit in the car for an hour.  Now as I look back I realize the fussing was more then that.  Amber is not one to complain. The nights were difficult for Amber that summer.  She went to bed willingly but had a hard time relaxing.  I would sit by her bed and rub her back singing "Jesus Loves Me" softly to her.  She would drift off, and I would head to bed.  Sometimes just 30 minutes later I would hear her crying out for "Momma".  She never was fully awake during these times.  She was just sleeping re

As an adoptive mother, there are times that it can feel lonely.  There are challenges I meet that are not typical in everyday families, but the challenges are normal for adoptive families.  It is always encouraging to me to find that I'm not alone.   Just last week I discovered a blog that links me to many other adoptive family blogs.  For other adoptive families, I hope you find this a useful tool. The name of the blog is Moms Relate .

A favorite breakfast cereal at our house is homemade granola.  Over the years I've changed and adapted various granola recipes until this has become the standard recipe that we use. Our Favorite Granola 1 box rice crispies 12 cups of whole oats 1 T. cinnamon 1 c. raw sunflower seeds 1/2 c. raw pumpkin seeds (optional) 1/2 c. sesame seeds (optional) 1/2 t. salt 1 c. warm water 1 c. oil 1 c. honey or brown sugar 2 t. vanilla 2 c. unsweetened chipped coconut flakes (You can use regular sweetened coconut.  We just prefer the unsweetened to avoid unnecessary sugar.) Mix together in a large bowl: rice crispies, whole oats, cinnamon, sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, sesame seeds, and salt. Dry Ingredients In a 4 c. liquid measuring cup measure water, oil, honey or brown sugar, and vanilla. Stir liquid until sugar is dissolved.  (It helps to heat the liquids for two minutes in the microwave and then stir to dissolve sugar.) Wet ingredients Pour liquids into dry

One day at Ladies Bible Study I was recounting some of the specific prayers God had answered in relation to our journey through foster care to adoption.  When I finished one lady tearfully said, "Do you know what that makes me think?  That makes me think that there is a grandma out there praying for those children!"  That comment stuck in my head perhaps because I thought, "We aren't aware of any grandparents.  The grandparents were all eliminated as possible homes for the children." Fall blew by and soon it was time for the holidays.  One day in the mail a Christmas card arrived.  I didn't recognize the sender on the return address.  Curiously I opened it.  A picture of an elderly lady and a $20 bill dropped out.  I quickly read the card.  The writer introduced herself as the children's great grandma.  She wished us a Merry Christmas and said the money was to by a ham or turkey for our Christmas dinner.  She continued on and said, "I will be th

Laundry, laundry, laundry... it was always lying around.  My patience with articles of clothing stuffed behind beds, under beds, in beds, and just plain left in the middle of the floor often ran thin.  I tried many solutions to teach the children to put their dirty clothing in their laundry bags in their rooms.  However, one of my boys simply didn't seem to care. He didn't care if I charged him a quarter per article of clothing.  He was soon broke, and he could no longer pay. He didn't care if his clothes didn't get washed.  He just wore them dirty. I finally found a solution that worked from the book Creative Correction by Lisa Whelchel.  Here it is: "For every article of dirty clothing left on the floor rather then placed in the hamper, have your child make five trips from the place where the clothes were dropped to the washing machine, hamper, or utility room.  The child must pick up the clothes, walk downstairs, put the article in the hamper, take it b

I'm not good at making breakfast.  Honestly, I just don't like to make a big mess in the kitchen first thing in the morning.  So our family tends to eat a lot of cereal.  However, I like to know that I'm feeding my family something healthy.  Several years ago my husband bought me the book Mega Cooking by Jill Bond.  In that book there is a Many Muffins Mix that I have adapted and use all the time.  I like it because I can make a variety of muffins using the same basic mix. Many Muffins Mix 10 cups whole wheat flour (I use freshly ground, but that is not necessary.) 5 cups oat flour (I chop the whole oats fine in my blender instead.) 5 cups all-purpose flour (I usually use more whole wheat flour here instead unless I've purchased my wheat flour rather then grinding it.  For some reason the store bought wheat flour flour will make a crumbly and drier muffin making the white flour necessary.) 4 cups sugar (For a less sweet muffin -- Use 2 1/2 cups instead

One year after our family grew - Summer 2007 One of the most difficult things for me to do emotionally when Troy, Michael, and Amber came was to stand back and let the children establish the pecking order in the house.  Many times the mother bear came out in me when I saw my birth children mistreated.  I fought hard to not over-react realizing that Troy, Michael, and Amber had to also figure out where they fit in the house.  If I didn't handle situations carefully, they could easily feel like they were not a part.  The struggle was my heart had to learn to grasp that these were all my children, and it was a process which took time. Ryan because he was five years older then Troy wasn't challenged for his place as the oldest.  Kaytlin and Troy at first clashed.  It's been amazing watching that relationship develop though.  Troy told me a couple years ago, "Kayt is a lot of fun if I let her have her way."  I had to laugh.  Yes, they both have "in charge&quo

Dear Cory, I remember when I found out I was pregnant with you.  I cried.  We had planned to have four children, but Alex was barely a year old and I wasn't sure how I would handle another baby so soon.  However, as I began to feel you moving in my tummy, my excitement began to grow.  I loved you, and looked forward to the day I would get to hold you that first time. The day you were born, I knew for sure that unexpected, unplanned babies were blessings from God.  I cuddled your warm body in my arms and marveled at your short wisps of blond hair, your long fingers, and your dimpled feet.  It didn't matter how much busier life was going to be, I wouldn't have traded you for the world.    You were easy- going baby.  Rarely did you fuss.  At first you slept a lot.  Then when you started to smile, you smiled all the time.  And your laugh, I will never forget it.  It was a deep belly laugh.  You just took life as it came, enjoying every moment.  The year you were born was