Monday, December 19, 2011

Be Still

The anger is deep.  Often it's focused at me.  So hard to remain calm, to speak softly, to not react.

My boy is struggling.  Life is confusing.  The wounds are deep.  His heart hurts.

Image: Arvind Balaraman /
 I want to talk.  He refuses.  I want to understand.  He won't open up and let me.  I want healing.  Oh, how I desire healing...

Today I held his head in my lap.  Stroked his hair as I talked to God.  Spoke quietly to him for several minutes.

I held him in silence.  Snuggled with him on the bed.  He cried some.  But refused eye contact.  Finally he sat up.  Turned his back to me.  That hurt.

Went for a walk later.  Just him and I.  Tried to ask the right questions.  He talked some.  Hoped for more.  But it was a little.

Exhausting week.  Tired.  Holidays are often hard.  Seeking strength.  Needing solitude.  Holding onto God.

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.  Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells.  God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.  Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

The Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Come and see the works of the Lord, the desolations he has brought on the earth.  He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear, he burns the shields with fire.  Be still and know that I am God;  I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress."  Psalm 46

Be still my soul.  Thankful God hears, answers, and never turns his back. 

Beholding Glory


  1. Praying for you today. Big hugs for you from a sister in Christ!

  2. Praying for your family. That this Christmas season there much is peace and joy in your home.
    As a mom about to adopt (our homestudy just finalized) I really appreciate you sharing here about life after adoption and caring for a larger family.