Mother of Seven + 2

Snowflake I tatted one year.  I went through a time when I felt jealous of those who had beautifully decorated Christmas trees.  You know -- those trees that were decorated meticulously, every ornament spaced just so, and the colors all coordinating.  The trees were so elegant and beautiful.  My little tree couldn't compare.  It was just filled with a variety of cheap little ornaments from here and there. Christmas mouse made by an adopted Grandma. Those were the first few years my husband and I were married.  As time went by, we gradually began collecting ornaments that were given to us by friends and family.  This year as I watched the children decorate the tree, I realized just how special it was.  The children would exclaim over and and discuss each of the ornaments as they hung them.  Such warm memories filled their hearts. Honduran ornament from Jim & Teri Riley, missionaries. Birdhouse from Grandma "Vada". N...

I love traditions.  That is probably why this time of year is one of my favorites.  Our family traditions leading up to Christmas Day start with the setting up of our Christmas tree.  The two oldest children drug the big box holding our seven foot after-Christmas bargain down from the attic.  After supper we turned on Christmas music and began the assembling process.  With seven children helping re-shape the branches, and Dad putting the branches on, it didn't take too long to get the large tree up. This year the putting on of the lights proved to be the challenge.  Two of our three strings were not working.  Being of a frugal nature my husband and I began checking each little bulb.  I gave up after about twenty minutes, and told my husband we should just go buy new lights.  He was convinced that would be too expensive.  So, we continued to check each little bulb for the next 30 minutes, but with no success.  By this time, the chi...

Mikey had a desperate need to feel like he was in control of his life.  So much had been out of his control.  He would be with a family one day and suddenly he would abruptly be moved.  Things were given to him only to be lost when yet another move was made.  He had no power to control these circumstances.  His reaction to this was a determination to run his own life. The experience we had in child rearing did not equip us to handle this type of determination.  I was used to telling my children to do something and if they didn't there was a consequence.  After a few times of this, they would soon comply to what they were told to do.  This did not work with Mikey.   If I told him to do something, there was an instant battle.  His posture was one of defiance.  The consequences never seemed to phase him no matter how severe.  We prayed and racked our brains.  I read lots of information and finally it dawned on me.  W...

Michael was 5 1/2 when he came to us.  His hazel eyes and cute round face with a light sprinkling of freckles was quick to charm those around him.  At first we didn't see any real problems.  We just saw a little boy who needed love and stability in his life.  Mikey was quieter then the other two, and the first few months were uneventful.  This was a blessing as Troy was in need of so much time and attention in the beginning. However, as we attempted to be not only loving parents but the authorities in his life, we began to meet strong resistance.  There was no convincing Mikey to be obedient.  I remember him sitting in time out in the kitchen.  He would sit there, but the whole time he would be saying quietly, "You're not my mom, you can't make me do it, I can do what I want," over and over.  I would calmly explain to him that I couldn't start the timer until he was quiet.  I would add a minute each time he said something.  It oft...

As a mother, I'm continually hearing from the children what they want.  It seems their birthday is just a few days past, and they are planning what they want to get the next year.  It makes me want to scream, "Why can't you just be grateful for the nice gifts you just received rather then wanting something else!" Amber writes a thank you. I believed thankfulness needed to be taught.  What better time to teach this attitude then at Thanksgiving.  This week we invited some adult friends over that are special to our children.  The children were all involved in planning a special dinner to honor them. Alex and Troy scrub sweet potatoes They made a banner, wrote thank you letters, wrote a song, helped clean the house, and prepared and served the food.  The children had a great time planning and preparing, and they came up with good ideas to make our guests feel special.   The evening ended up being a memory that they'll remem...

Laundry in a household our size can quickly become an uncontrollable monster that threatens to consume everyone in its path.  Learning to tame this monster has taken time.  Here are a few of the methods I use to keep things under control: 1.  Place a laundry bag or basket in each bedroom, and teach family members the necessity of putting the laundry in the bag or basket.   I had to get serious about this.  Dirty laundry under beds, in closets, etc. is not acceptable.  The children paid me a quarter for every clothing article I picked up.  With one child that didn't even work, so he had to make five trips to the basement laundry room for every clothing article left out.  After 25 trips on two different occasions he was pretty much cured. 2.  As a part of daily chores assign one person in each room to take the dirty laundry to the laundry room and sort it.   I have four containers in the basement.  One is for white socks and under...

Many times I've been asked how we afford to feed all these boys.  Many wonder how in the world I cook so much food all the time.  I love cooking.  But honestly, I found preparing meals to be overwhelming for a time when our family grew so quickly all at once. Here is a list of some of the things I've learned to do to make preparing meals a manageable task: * Plan a menu.   Not having a game plan is a losing situation.  It comes down to 5:00.  Everyone is hungry, and there's nothing that can be fixed without taking lots of time.  What happens?  We spend too much money trying to find something fast and easy to eat. *Keep convenience meals on hand.   There are days when time is short.  Always have readily available some quick and easy meals.  Mine tend to be bean burritos, peanut butter and jelly, spaghetti, taco's, and quesidillas.   I keep the ingredients for these on hand.  I keep some browned hamburger in the freezer....

One of my big fears when we adopted was that our four biological children would resent the added workload in the house and therefore resent their new siblings. My husband and I discussed this topic at length with the children. It seemed that every time we mentioned a negative, the children would respond with something like, "But isn't this what God would want us to do." We could not persuade them that perhaps more siblings was not a good idea. The Word of God that we had planted in their lives had taken root and they were ready to grow. I really had no concept of how much life would change when our family grew by three children all at once. It felt like double cooking, double laundry, double cleaning and picking up. In just a few short weeks I was exhausted. It was Kaytlin, our second child, who stepped up and helped me get through. Sometimes I'd be working in the kitchen, and she would come and offer to help me. Other times she would gather up the k...

It seemed like a little thing. A piece of paper with two small hearts. A colorful box drawn in one corner. A face of a boy with glasses sketched under four simple words. But those four simple words meant so much today. They simply stated, "I love you mom." With seven kids in the house, I hear those words quite often. Today was special though. The words came from Mikey. They came out of the blue for no apparent reason. I hadn't hugged him and told him, "I love you" first. I hadn't given him anything. He just told me he loved me, and I wept tears of joy. Mikey will tell me he loves me when I tell him that I love him. He will tell me he loves me if I give him something. But I don't ever remember him just telling me he loves me without something to prompt him. This is a milestone, and my heart is overflowing with joy. I haven't shared Mikey's story yet. He was diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder before he came to our...

According to Luke 2:51 Christ's mother, Mary, had things she treasured in her heart concerning her son. Some moments remain etched in a mother's memory for a lifetime. There are memories with our children which become treasures that cannot be stolen from our hearts. Troy and Mikey have been playing youth football this year. We have had so much fun watching our boys do something they love. We had opportunity to order T-shirts with the boy's names and jersey numbers on them. I didn't realize at the time the orders were being made that we could order T-shirts for Les and I to wear, and I just ordered T-shirts for the boys. After seeing all the parents wearing their T-shirts at the ball game, I felt kinda bad we hadn't ordered any, but I didn't say anything about it. Troy and Mikey love wearing their T-shirts, and so I was happy. Tuesday evening before the football game, Troy came down to the kitchen where I was washing dishes. He said, "Mom, do ...

Our precious blue-eyed Amber fit into the family immediately. She seemed to know she was home. She was compliant and never wanted to upset anyone. We often commented that she was the best three year old we had ever been around. I remember the first time she had an accident and didn't make it to the bathroom in time. She was crying in the bathroom. I went towards her to help with her wet things, and she quickly backed into the corner and held up her arms to shield herself. It broke me heart. I could tell she had been mistreated and abused at some point in connection with potty training. Quietly I assured her that everyone had accidents. We just needed to clean it up. Together through her sobs we cleaned her up and cleaned the floor. The first few months Amber would become emotionally distraught when we would get ready to go somewhere or people showed up at the house. Sometimes she would sit and rock on the floor crying for her "Daddy Arlo", a previous foster...

That first year was filled with many tumultuous times. Our new children had been through difficult times. Wounds do not heal overnight. We especially saw this in Troy. He was the oldest at nearly eight years of age. After being in five different homes in the last two and a half years he wasn’t sure he could trust anyone. Troy was angry. His parents had promised he would be coming back home. That didn’t happen. Families had promised to adopt him. That didn’t happen. Families said they loved him, but they hurt him. How could we show him we were being honest with him? We did love him. He could trust us. As I watched the struggle our angry little boy went through, my heart ached. I remember several times looking out our dining room window watching Troy up more than 20 feet in the oak tree. He was swaying there in the wind trying so hard to be brave, but I could see him fiercely swipe away a tear now and then. He looked so lost and alone. I wanted to hold him and reass...

My dear boy, Alex, I had no idea I was pregnant when I found out we were expecting you. I was having some other health issues and went to the Dr. to get some help. I remember talking to the Dr. for some time. He had left the room, but came back in and said, "Congratulations! You're pregnant." Wow, I didn't even have any idea how far along I was. The dr. did a sonogram so we would know. It was then that we discovered I had a large ovarian cyst that was causing my health issues. It was the size of an orange. The dr. explained that he couldn't operate on the cyst until I reached 14 weeks in the pregnancy. I was only at 7 weeks. There was a great chance that the cyst would burst and that I would miscarry. We could only pray that everything would turn out for the best. I went back to the dr. four weeks later. I had been extremely sick. I was so nauseated. I couldn't eat much of anything. Grandma had even had to come and help me ou...

I ran across a little note in the dining room last week when I was cleaning. I had left it in a pile of papers after Mother's Day. It was written by my 11 year old son, Alex. Reasons why I love my Mom Reason #1 - she never puts me down Reason #2 - she feeds me three times a day Reason #3 - she shows me her love Reason #4 - she takes me on vacations Reason #5 - she cares for my comfort Reason #6 - she cleans the house Reason #7 - she disciplines me Reason #8 - she works hard As I looked over the list this morning, I realized all the little things I do really matter. Reason #7 made me laugh. In the midst of discipline, I've never had a child thank me, but I guess in the long run they really do believe me that I do it because I love them. I know Alex worked hard on this list, so I thought maybe I should make my own just for my children. Reasons why I love my children Reason #1 - You are God's gift to me Reason #2 - God has a purpose for your life,...

"I can do all things through Him who gives me strength." Phil. 4:13 The first couple weeks with our newly expanded family seemed like a blur. We couldn't have survived without the support of our church family and friends. Mary Jean came by several times and picked up some of our dirty laundry and washed it for us. LaVada brought us food she had prepared. Jenni brought extra bikes by for the kids to ride. So many were praying for us daily, and some sent notes of encouragement. Gifts of clothing were left on our doorstep. God provided for us physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Physically, I was exhausted. Trying to feed, clothe, and care for seven children was demanding. Someone always needed me, and I was fearful to leave the children on their own for even a few minutes. When at last, bedtime rolled around even that was exhausting. Teaching Troy, Mikey, and Amber a healthy bedtime routine took time. They also had fears that had to be dealt with. ...

Day finally dawned, and there was so much to do. Beds had to be prepared, dresser drawers emptied and rearranged, and some easy meals planned to get through our first few days with our new children. Each moment that passed, I became more aware that at any moment the phone would ring and tell us when and where to pick up the children. However, by the time lunch time rolled around, we had heard nothing so we decided to call and check on things. We found out they were waiting on an exception to be granted to us because we were licensed for two children, and we were getting three. Since this was our first foster care placement, they were a little hesitant to grant the exception. All we could do was pray and trust God that if this was to be He would help get the exception granted. Finally about 4:00 in the afternoon the phone rang and asked us to go to Augusta and meet the current foster parents at McDonald's to pick up the children. We quickly took Ryan, Kayt, Alex and Cory o...

Now that the time was here to make a decision, fear and excitement gripped my heart. I quickly found Les and shared the details with him. I remember his eyes lighting up and him saying, "This really might be it!" We then prayed together asking God to grant us wisdom. Les and I presented the prospect to our four children, and they were all excited. They all seemed to think that these were to be our children. We called both sets of our parents and asked them to pray and we called a good friend, Mary Jean Browne, and asked her to pray. We then reviewed all the information we had. Our major concern was that parental rights had not yet been severed. It also seemed that in the area of behavior there had been some problems with stealing by the boys. However, these hurdles didn't seem to be insurmountable and so we felt comfortable with taking the placement. We then called each set of parents and Mary Jean to see if they had any thoughts for us after praying. They ex...