Mother of Seven + 2

School had just wrapped up for the year. It was Monday, and I contemplated all the things I wanted to accomplish over the summer as I was making bread. There were closets to clean out, rooms that needed thorough cleanings, and curtains to wash. I was not sure where to start, and I didn't want to get in the middle of some big project and then get a phone call about taking a placement. Ahhh, how I loved making bread and working in my kitchen. The children were enjoying their first day of summer break and had made themselves scarce. Every now and then one would come in the kitchen for a quick hug or a drink of water, but they didn't stay long. I had so much to be thankful for. Four healthy beautiful children, a wonderful husband, a nice home, and a loving church family were top on the list. As I washed up a few dishes, the phone rang and startled me from my thoughts. "Hello." "Yes, I'm calling for Les or Natasha Miller." "This is Natasha." ...

Massive amounts of paperwork had been completed by the time we wrapped up our MAPP class in mid-December. It felt good to be done, and our excitement was mounting as we waited for our state license as a foster home to be granted. We were told to expect our license in about six weeks. However, February came and went, and we still had not received our license. Frustration began to build. There was a sense of urgency within me, because I felt like "our children" were out there somewhere in the foster care system. They needed us. At times I would kneel by my bed and pray, begging God to protect them until they could come home. At last in mid-March we received our license. Immediately, we began receiving numerous phone calls asking us to take teenagers. It nearly broke my heart each time I said, "No, we cannot take them as a placement." We had empty beds waiting to be filled. But we had stipulated that we would not take a placement older then age eight due to ...

There was one particular MAPP class that really bothered Les and I. The discussion was on helping these children in foster care deal with loss. No matter how bad their situation might have been, it was all they knew. They still were loyal to their parents and loved them, and they felt great loss when they were removed from their home. On top of that, they often lost their toys, clothing, and pets in the process. It is not the norm for there to be an "only child" in the foster care system. They have multiple siblings. During their time in foster care while reintegration is the goal, they try to keep siblings together, but this is virtually impossible when there are four or five children. They often end up in two different homes. If their parents do not get things together and meet their goals, then the children become "adoptive placements." Again the foster care system attempts to keep siblings together, but when there are more then two or three, it becomes ...

Another struggle we faced in our decision making progress was the unknown factor of how this would affect our children. We worried that they would resent another child. We wondered if it would take important time away from them. We feared they would end up resenting us. Four children were already a big responsibility. Were we being irresponsible to take on another child? As a result, we openly discussed the things we learned in our MAPP classes with the children. We told them that we would not proceed if they were unsure. Time and again they surprised us with the way they embraced the idea of a sister despite the difficulties we tried to explain to them. The only opposition we faced was that our youngest, Cory, at age five thought a brother would be a better idea. Our oldest two, Ryan and Kaytlin, often would remind us that this was the right thing to do. When we would try to discourage them about it one of them would ask, "But isn't that what Jesus would want us to ...

A major concern we had in completing the foster care classes was a form that we had to sign about discipline of children placed in our care. In signing the form we were giving our word that we would not spank the children. We have never used excessive spankings with our children, but it is one form of discipline we have used when our children have lied to us, been disrespectful, or exhibited willful disobedience. There are many other forms of discipline that are effective and that we use frequently, but my husband and I believe as it is stated in the book of Proverbs that if you "spare the rod, you spoil the child". The Bible also teaches that the rod of discipline is useful for "driving out foolishness" from the hearts of children. However spankings have been misused by some parents. They have beaten their children and called it a spanking. This has given spankings a bad name, and it has even been called child abuse. Unfortunately good parents have been acc...

Attending that first MAPP (Mentoring and Partnering in Parenting) class caused a mixture of emotions for us. Before we even walked through the door of the conference room, the smell of cigarette smoke assaulted my senses. I'm extremely sensitive to it as it triggers migraines for me. No one could smoke in class. It was just that the smell was clinging to their clothing. I wondered if I would be able to do this. We then saw our fellow classmates. There were around twenty people of all ages and from all walks of life. I tended to notice some rough looking characters first. Two of the guys looked like motorcycle biker dudes. My first thought of dismay was, "These are the people who want to be foster parents!" Over the course of the first two or three weeks the teachers narrowed the class down to only those eligible to be licensed. However, I have to admit that God taught me a few lessons about making judgments based on appearance over the next ten weeks. The ...

My husband, Les, and I had often talked about doing foster care, but we had never felt like the time was right. Considering the age of our children and now this little girl out there somewhere that needed us, we decided to at least check into adopting through the foster care system. God has always been good to us and provided for our every need. However, we did not have financial means to pursue adopting through an adoption agency of any sort. We had many questions that needed answers. How would this affect our biological children? Was it a wise decision to open our home to the state so we could get licensed? Would we be able to love another child as our own? Would our extended family be supportive? The list of questions went on and on. After praying about it, we decided to take the training class for foster parents. Perhaps this would answer our questions. We earnestly prayed that if it wasn't God's will, he would make that plain to us. We began MAPP classes so we co...

It's been almost four years since that day which started a new chapter in our lives. My husband and I are now parents of seven children instead of four. God has taught us so much through this journey and he has answered so many prayers. This is my attempt to record the joys and struggles of expanding our family through adoption.

It was just another summer day in early August. The burning sun was unmerciful as it baked the Kansas ground. My little blue Honda Civic worked hard to maintain enough cool air to keep me comfortable as I traveled down the highway. Fields shorn of summer wheat, fields green with beans, and fields of dry corn flew past my window. I reached down and pushed a tape into the tape deck. It was enjoyable having some time alone. It was a rare treat. Most my days were spent surrounded by our four beautiful children. As much as I loved them, I needed a break. Our oldest, Ryan, was eleven. He was followed by Kaytlin age 9, Alex age 7, and Cory age 5. Today I was headed to the doctor’s office to have some laser hair removal done on my face. I was so self-conscious about the dark hair that grew on my chin, that I had decided to splurge and have these laser treatments to eliminate the problem. This was to be the last of the treatments, and I was beginning to realize it was ...