Thursday, July 16, 2009

A Scary Step

There was one particular MAPP class that really bothered Les and I. The discussion was on helping these children in foster care deal with loss. No matter how bad their situation might have been, it was all they knew. They still were loyal to their parents and loved them, and they felt great loss when they were removed from their home. On top of that, they often lost their toys, clothing, and pets in the process.

It is not the norm for there to be an "only child" in the foster care system. They have multiple siblings. During their time in foster care while reintegration is the goal, they try to keep siblings together, but this is virtually impossible when there are four or five children. They often end up in two different homes.

If their parents do not get things together and meet their goals, then the children become "adoptive placements." Again the foster care system attempts to keep siblings together, but when there are more then two or three, it becomes extremely difficult. Sibling groups often end up split and never adopted and this further increases the sense of loss the children deal with. All this causes a lot of pain and psychological issues for the children.

Our children were so close and bonded to each other. We could not imagine how they would cope if they were split up. It broke our hearts to know that brothers and sisters were broken apart. Our heart strings were tugged.

As we drove home that night, it was almost comical. At first we were silent, then one of us would say something about maybe we could take more then one child. Then realizing the absurdity of doing such a thing, we would fall silent. After a bit, the other one of us would bring it up again. We decided we were quite crazy. We were stretching it to afford one more child let alone two or more. Yet it weighed heavy on our hearts.

We discussed the class with our children and right away they wanted to take in more then one child. They felt strongly that it would be terrible for brothers and sisters to be split up. They even made plans of where they all could sleep. We were taken aback. The realization hit us that perhaps God had more then one child in mind for us. We decided to indicate that we would be willing to take a sibling group, and if it was God's will he would provide a way. We felt like we were beginning to border on being irrational, but we put it in God's hands trusting that he knew what was best for our family. My prayers now went something like, "God you need to show me this is all wrong, but please take care of our children."

1 comment:

  1. We have 3 bio kids and are trying to adopt 2 kids out of foster care. Just found you this morning from We are Grafted In. You may be a God send!!