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When You Have To Let Go

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Heartache.  Deep, painful, agonizing heartache.  For a season that felt like it would never end, I carried a weight of anguish that tore at my very soul.  Parenting had been the source of immense joy for me, but at the same time there came with it intense sorrow.    Learning to handle this heartache is something that for me personally both challenged and grew my faith.  During this time I learned to appreciate the words of Psalm 77.  The lament of the Psalmist was much the same as my own heart cry to God.  It says,  I cry aloud to God, aloud to God, and he will hear me.  In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord; in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying; my soul refuses to be comforted. When I remember God, I moan; when I meditate, my spirit faints. You hold my eyelids open ; I am so troubled that I cannot speak. I consider the days of old, the years long ago. I said, “Let me remember my song in the night; let me meditate in my heart.” Then my spirit made diligent search: