Mother of Seven + 2

It is always hard for me to decide what to publish on my blog.  I want to be real and transparent.  Yet I must protect my family and especially my children. I really struggled with whether to post "What's in a Name."   It was not my intent to make my son look bad.  I love him with all my heart.  Growing up is difficult.  I remember some of those struggles myself.  I'm sure I made choices and said things that were hurtful to my parents. I decided to go ahead and post because of the lesson this experience taught me.  So many things I learn about myself through my children and parenting.  It's as though my children's relationship with me often reflects my relationship with my Heavenly Father.  I see myself in them. My second reason for posting was because when adoption is involved "identity" can be a big issue for children.  They often feel like they don't "fit" in their adoptive families.  They wonder what it would be like with their

"Hey, Mom, do you want to read this?" my son said as he handed me his ipad. "What is it?" I questioned. "It's my obituary.  We had to write one for an assignment in English." I glance down and the name at the top jumps out at me. It glares at me, and that's all I see.  Our son's name...but he has written down his last name from birth.  Not our last name...the one we were so proud to give him eight years ago when his adoption was finalized. I read through the rest of the obituary, but I don't remember a word of what it said.  I was stuck on the name at the top.  I was hurt.  I was angry. I asked him why he hadn't used our last name.  He said something about his birth family being his "real" family. I had to walk away. Even writing about this a couple weeks after it happened, I have to hold back tears.  There is still pain there.  However, God has given me understanding.  Our son is a teenager struggling with h