Tired

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The changes in our family have been a blessing, but at the same time a huge adjustment.  My husband daily asks me, "How are you?" and my standard answer is, "Tired."  Yesterday I had a few quite hours to myself.  I went to the park and prayed and in that quiet time God gently spoke to me.  No, it wasn't an audible voice...it was just in the stillness that he brought to mind His Word.  He comforted me and reminded me that He is great and mighty, and He will do far more then I will ever dream or imagine.

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So tired.

Feeling like I live moment to moment
Unprepared for what lies ahead.

Missing control, neatness, and order
in my life.

Stomach often knotted,
Brain incapable of sorting it out.

Activities, Schooling, Appointments,
Needs, Demands, Conflicts,
Discipline and Training.
Laundry, Cooking, Cleaning,
Husband, Children, Friends.

Piling up,
Gathering into a growing, teetering mass.
And just one more pebble added
Will set the avalanche in motion.

Burying me.

I have nothing left.
I can't dig out.
I can't...do it.

I'm gasping,
Struggling,
Suffocating.

I stop.
I have no choice.
I am at the end of myself.

"Be still," he whispers.
"I brought you here."

He beckons,
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

The knots begin to loosen.
I remember,
"...when I am weak, then I am strong."

"What is impossible with men is possible with God."

Imagine.
Jesus and 12 disciples.
5000 men plus women and children.
All hungry.

Jesus says to his disciples,
"Feed them."

Disciples answer,
"What?"
"How?"
"It would take 8 months wages."

The pressure mounts.
Stress increases.

Jesus asks,
"What do you have?"

Disciples
"Nothing."
Might as well be, anyway.
"There are just these 5 small barley loaves and 2 fish."

Jesus
"Bring them to me."

Disciples
"But why?"
It's not enough...
not enough....
not enough.

But it was enough.
It was more than enough.
And with 12 baskets left over.

"My daughter, remember the loaves."

"I am enough.
More than enough."

"I can do everything through him who gives me strength."









Comments

  1. Rhonda GunnMay 10, 2014 at 6:48 AM

    Cheering for you! You can do it through HIM who gives your strength...YES and it is all working together for that awesome "GOOD" that he promises to his beloved. I have been experiencing those same, "symptoms" of following Jesus into the hard places; hard, glorious, intimate with Him places through our adoptions, as well. I'm standing with you today from my little spot on the farm in Arkansas. :) Hugs.

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