Fearful Days

Fear.  A force that often controls our actions.   

Little Girl has an intense fear.  It is the fear that she will be taken from her family.  It is understandable.  Each month when her case worker comes to visit, we face this challenge.  It took me awhile to catch on to what was going on, but I finally realized a pattern of negative behaviors was associated with each visit.

One month she was acting up and the case worker said to her, "That isn't very nice."   She promptly replied, "I'm listening to the serpent."  That took me aback.  I had to explain that we had read about Adam and Eve in the garden and how the serpent had tempted Eve.  The case worker chuckled and the visit went on.

The next month she was a drama queen, crying and hiding in my lap.  Nothing seemed to calm her.  The case worker commented that she tends to bring out the worst in the kids she manages.

In December we met the worker at Baby Boy's appointment with his asthma specialist.  My husband stayed in the waiting room with Little Girl and the worker while I took Baby Boy in to see the specialist.  As they were sitting there visiting Little Girl told my husband that he should go to hell.  Little Girl never talks like that!  Talk about a jaw dropper.

For Little Girl's sake, our worker has been keeping things moving towards getting adoption finalized as quickly as possible.  I'm thankful for that.  She knows that permanency will be the best way to alleviate the fear.

A week ago we received a phone call we've been waiting for letting us know that DCF approved us as adoptive parents for Little Girl and Baby Boy.  Another step closer to adoption, and this step is of vital importance.  The next steps will be for us to read the records and go through subsidy negotiations.

We had another visit last week from the case worker.  I prepared Little Girl ahead of time.  She was still high strung, but she did not seem upset.  We had a doozy temper tantrum in the afternoon after the case worker left.  It had been 3 weeks since we dealt with one of those.  However, I think there was some positive progress.

It is hard to teach a 4 year old to trust God and to not be afraid.  This is especially true when she doesn't understand why she was moved from her grandma's home.  She doesn't understand why she couldn't  stay with her first foster family.  She has been moved twice in the past year from homes she loved.  This is all fresh in her mind.

Praying Psalm 91 for Little Girl.  May our girl can find shelter with her Heavenly Father.  May she rest in his love and discover she has nothing to fear.

Photo from freedigitalphotos.net

 

  Psalm 91

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.  I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."  Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence.  He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.  You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day,  nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.  A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you.  You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.  If you make the Most High your dwelling — even the Lord, who is my refuge — then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent.  For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;  they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.  You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent.  "Because he loves me," says the Lord, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.  He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.  With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation."