And I give thanks

-

    In the early morning dark I sit with coffee cradled warm within my hands.  My gratitude journal lays open beside me.  I've been on a journey.  A journey to a life more filled with joy and gratitude.  Each day I start by trying to give thanks...especially for the little things, the overlooked things.  Some days I do better then others.  Lists long.  Lists short fill the entries.  I realize how much easier it has become to count, to praise, to thank.  God is opening my eyes to his ever present presence.  Gratefulness for His goodness just this past weekend overwhelms me.   

All the gifts...

    Children eager in the backseat asking every 10 minutes, "How much longer?"  Looking forward to an overnight stay with big sister, Kayt, and her husband, Sam.  Staying up past bedtime, playing games, cooking, and visiting the pumpkin patch all the things they look forward to.  Anticipation builds during this longest ride ever.  And I give thanks.   Thank you for family that loves each other.  Thank you for a daughter who gives of her time so Dad and Mom can have a night out.

    Walking hand in hand through downtown Lawrence.  Freezing wind cutting right through our coats.  Trying out an ice cream shop.  Then gratefully soaking up the heat from the seat warmers in the car.  Looking at the bold beautiful fall colors clothing the trees and admiring the huge majestic homes as we drive around town.  Listening to my husband telling me what types of trees are the best for the hundredth time.  Eating dinner late at night in a small Italian cafe'.  Falling asleep at the hotel before the movie was over.  Sleeping in.  Waking to the quiet of no children, no hurry, no schedule with my husband warm beside me.  And I give thanks.  Thank you for my husband who wants to spend time with me, cherishes me, and loves me.

    Time in Salina, crowded in Dad and Mom's living room.  Dad dealing with a serious illness.  He is optimistic.  Tells his stories.  Sits and falls asleep amidst the chatter.  Always ready to offer dessert when he wakens.  Mom's concern in her voice, in the tears that gather in her eyes, and in her choked voice.  Determined we soak in every moment.  And I give thanks.  Thank you for parents who passionately love you and love each other.   Thank you for every moment, a gift.

    My son, Alex, beside me.  He leans on my shoulder and grabs my hand.  His love, always so passionate.  This young man, who has endured dark days, but is walking out on the other side.  One for whom I prayed from the time he was in my womb.  One we thought we had lost, but God saved even before he was born.  We go to church together, him eager for us to be with him.  And I give thanks.  Thank you for answered prayers.  Thank you for this one who sees life differently and has taught me things I would never know without him.  

    And as the morning lightens, I see the beautiful snow.  God  covering his earth with pure whiteness.  Reminds me of his love.  It covers me.  It is beautiful.  It is pure.    

His presence.  His warmth.  It surrounds me blanketing me in love.

And I give thanks.





Comments

  1. Mary JeanOctober 26, 2020 at 12:46 PM

    Thank you Natasha for sharing your feelings, your activities and family with me Praying our Lord continues to reveal His strength, peace and will to you and yours.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Skillet Zucchini and Hamburger

-
Image
My garden is producing peppers, onions, and zucchini and yellow squash right now.  I ran across this recipe, and the kids thought it was great.  They liked it much better then the way I had fixed the zucchini previously in a similar recipe with diced tomatoes instead of spaghetti sauce. What You Need: 1 lb ground chuck 2 lb zucchini or yellow squash, chopped in bite size pieces 1 green or red bell pepper, chopped 1 large onion, chopped 2 garlic cloves, minced 1 26 ounce jar of your favorite spaghetti sauce 1 teaspoon garlic powder 1 teaspoon dried basil leaves 1/2 teaspoon black pepper salt to taste What To Do: 1.  Brown ground chuck with onion and bell pepper in a large skillet.  Drain grease. 2.  Add garlic and seasonings.  Stir. 3.  Add zucchini and stir.  Cover with lid and cook over medium heat for approximately 15 minutes until zucchini is crisp tender.  Stir about every 5 minutes. 4....
Read more

When You Have To Let Go

-
Image
Heartache.  Deep, painful, agonizing heartache.  For a season that felt like it would never end, I carried a weight of anguish that tore at my very soul.  Parenting had been the source of immense joy for me, but at the same time there came with it intense sorrow.    Learning to handle this heartache is something that for me personally both challenged and grew my faith.  During this time I learned to appreciate the words of Psalm 77.  The lament of the Psalmist was much the same as my own heart cry to God.  It says,  I cry aloud to God, aloud to God, and he will hear me.  In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord; in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying; my soul refuses to be comforted. When I remember God, I moan; when I meditate, my spirit faints. You hold my eyelids open ; I am so troubled that I cannot speak. I consider the days of old, the years long ago. I said, “Let me remember my song in the night; let me meditate in...
Read more

My Battle with Depression

-
Image
"Your Mom is not the same person she was," I overheard my husband explain to one of our boys. Our son wistfully replies, "I hope she gets better soon." My tears flowed.  I was not sure I would ever be better.  How does a broken heart heal?  How is one ever the same after they are broken? Each day I rose early.  In the stillness of the morning, I sought strength from above.  I never wanted to leave the quiet.  I wanted to stay here reading His Word and praying.  But...children awoke, meals needed fixed, laundry begged washing, and somehow I walked through each day.  However, I lived angry inside...angry that my solitude had been disturbed. The reality of my life was depression.  A depression that would not loosen its grip. It took me a long time to acknowledge it though. Over a year before my medical doctor had suggested to me that I take an anti-depressant.  I had gone in for unexplained aching and fatigue in my body. ...
Read more