Parenting is tough. We have seven grown children and two still at home. The longer I've parented, the more I realize I'm pretty much a mess. I don't have the answers. I can't claim all seven children as wonderful success stories. Parenting our last two isn't easier after already raising seven. That's probably not what you wanted to hear, but it is reality.
It is scary for me to attempt to offer advice. The best thing I can offer is the Holy Scripture. I love Isaiah 55:8-11 which says, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts; neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." God's Word will not return void or empty. That is a promise I've hung onto in parenting. I strive to teach His Word and trust Him to do His work.
Teaching through God's Words
Psalm 78:1-8 says, "O my people, hear my teaching; listen to the words of my mouth. I will open my mouth in parables, I will utter hidden things, things from of old--what we have heard and known, what our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children; the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, his power, and the wonders he has done. He decreed statutes for Jacob and established the law in Israel, which he commanded our forefathers to teach their children, so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children. Then they would put their trust in God would not forget his deeds but would keep his commands. They would be like their forefathers--a stubborn and rebellious generation, whose hearts were not loyal to God, whose spirits were not faithful to Him."
Use teachable moments. In Psalm 78:1 there is a plea for God's people to "hear my teaching" and to "listen to the words of my mouth." My prayer as a parent is that my children will truly listen to God's instruction. I've found that my children are most teachable when they are engaged in activity with me. One relaxing summer evening our family was out at the lake. The sun had gone down and the sky was bright with stars. We lay back on the grassy bank gazing into the heavens and tried to remember all the Bible stories or verses that mentioned stars. It led to the overwhelming realization that despite the vastness of the universe, God loved and cared for us though we were smaller then specks in this vast universe.
Every parent has probably experienced the wasted toothpaste swirls in the bathroom sink. One day as some hurtful words were slung at each other, I challenged the kids to see if they could put the toothpaste back into the tube. Then we discussed how when we say words, we are unable to put them back in our mouths. Teachable moments aren't often planned moments. They are moments that I pray God will help me be in tune with, so I can illustrate the truth of His Word to my children.
Read books with moral value. Psalm 78:2 says, "I will open my mouth in parables." Even Jesus used stories to illustrate a point. There are many wonderful children's books available that teach valuable life lessons. One time I was reading about a boy who had bent his mother's good paring knife and the lied about it. The boy had a dream about a giant bent paring knife hooking to his suspender's and pulling him under water. The lie was tormenting him. One of my boys piped up, "Mom, that's just how I felt when I stole the Easter candy." Often when I'm reading a story, my children will start discussions about their feelings or about what is right or wrong in a situation. Children beg for another chapter in a book, but they won't beg me for another lecture.
Tell stories of God's faithfulness. Psalm 78:4 states, "We will not hide them from their children; the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, his power, and the wonders he has done." The supper table or car rides are natural places for sharing stories. Children love to hear stories about those close to them. I often tell my children about how God was faithful to my Great Grandma when she was a widow with five children during the Great Depression. She had a wonderful testimony about learning to tithe when it seemed there was nothing to give.
Five of our children were adopted out of foster care. When they were younger they begged to hear the story about how God answered prayers and moved to bring about their adoptions. It would be a shame if they did not know the stories about God's faithfulness to them and to those who prayed.
Spend time together in family Bible reading. In Psalm 78:5 it reminds me that, "He decreed statutes for Jacob and established the law in Israel, which he commanded our forefathers to teach their children." When I was growing up my dad always made it non-negotiable to have family devotions. There were many times my brother, sister, and I complained and grumbled, but today we all are grateful to our mom and dad for showing us what was important through their example of establishing God's Word as a priority in our home. My husband and I strive to do the same thing, but it can get discouraging when the children are less the cooperative. I have to take a step back and remember my children won't always appreciate what is good for them at the time.
Encourage personal Bible reading. Going over to Psalm 119:9-10 I read, "How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word. I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands." It is important that "our faith" becomes "their faith." I have to teach my children to seek the Lord. With some of my older children who were book lovers we made a deal. "No books until we read the Bible." They caught me more than one time reading something before reading my Bible. We kept each other accountable. We started this as soon as they started reading. Currently with my two children left at home, we have a 30 minute "quiet time" in place each morning where they are to do personal Bible reading, prayer, journaling, and listening to Christian music. I can't necessarily force them to do it, but I can create opportunity for them and encourage them.
Memorize Scripture. Reading on in Psalm 119:11 it says, "I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you." Children have remarkable memories. My husband has helped the children learn Scripture by making up songs. During our devotional time, he will have them repeat the same verse each day until they learn it. Three of our children memorized whole chapters of the Bible. It is important to teach them to hide the Word in their hearts because it will help keep them from sin.
Why spend so much time in the Word? Psalm 78:6,7 gives the answer, "...so the next generation would know them (referring back to the law and statutes of God), even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children. Then they would put their trust in God and would not forget his deeds but would keep his commands." Future generations depend on parents passing the Word on to their children.
Hebrews 4:12 says His Word is "living and active." It works when I have nothing left to give. It works when there is nothing more I can do. God's Word is my hope in parenting. It is their hope for life.
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