Walking down the road Searching for the right words Trying to listen with my heart My hurting son beside me Shuffling his feet Kicking at stray rocks Lagging behind Head tucked down Image: chrisroll / FreeDigitalPhotos.net "What is wrong" "Why all the anger" "Please talk to me" I'm begging Pleading Praying for answers Bit by bit They come But he's hesitant and fearful He wonders "What it might be like" "Why I feel this way" He worries He will hurt us We may not understand We might be angry I tilt his face up to look into my eyes I tell him "It's ok." It is natural to wonder about living with his birth family It is wonderful that he loves them God made it that way They are part of who he is We are not hurt We understand We are not angry His pace picks up His arm soon wraps around my waist I put my arm around his sh...
"Your Mom is not the same person she was," I overheard my husband explain to one of our boys. Our son wistfully replies, "I hope she gets better soon." My tears flowed. I was not sure I would ever be better. How does a broken heart heal? How is one ever the same after they are broken? Each day I rose early. In the stillness of the morning, I sought strength from above. I never wanted to leave the quiet. I wanted to stay here reading His Word and praying. But...children awoke, meals needed fixed, laundry begged washing, and somehow I walked through each day. However, I lived angry inside...angry that my solitude had been disturbed. The reality of my life was depression. A depression that would not loosen its grip. It took me a long time to acknowledge it though. Over a year before my medical doctor had suggested to me that I take an anti-depressant. I had gone in for unexplained aching and fatigue in my body. ...
Heartache. Deep, painful, agonizing heartache. For a season that felt like it would never end, I carried a weight of anguish that tore at my very soul. Parenting had been the source of immense joy for me, but at the same time there came with it intense sorrow. Learning to handle this heartache is something that for me personally both challenged and grew my faith. During this time I learned to appreciate the words of Psalm 77. The lament of the Psalmist was much the same as my own heart cry to God. It says, I cry aloud to God, aloud to God, and he will hear me. In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord; in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying; my soul refuses to be comforted. When I remember God, I moan; when I meditate, my spirit faints. You hold my eyelids open ; I am so troubled that I cannot speak. I consider the days of old, the years long ago. I said, “Let me remember my song in the night; let me meditate in...
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